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Marriage is Like Farming- It Must be Cultivated

A magical marriage

The grain bag was almost empty, so I reached deeply into the dark bag to get a scoop for my chickens… Suddenly something scurried up my arm sleeve! You would have thought an anaconda was in my shirt the way I jumped and screamed! Within 10 seconds a mouse jumped right out of the top of my shirt! I’m surprised we didn’t both roll over and die right there!

People love farms. I think it’s inborn. You know an innate desire deep within for “that” farm- where the grass is always green, the animals are always content and luscious organic food grows effortlessly.

Ahhh… but what people don’t see is what it takes to make “that” farm.

A diligent farmer never, ever goes a single day without working and laboring by the sweat of his brow on behalf of the farm. You have to fight for it. YOU DO! You protect its borders, maintain the fences… love and cherish it, in sickness and in health- till death do you part.

Only a farmer with this mentally has “that” beautiful, “magical” farm.

You must be willing to fight predators single handedly who come to steal, kill and destroy; like snakes eating our breakfast, foxes dragging off the chickens, or coyote’s stealing our newborn kids (baby goats).

The work doesn’t stop there. There’s poop to scoop, fields to mow, poisonous vines to annihilate, goats to milk in 0-100 degree temperatures. . .  Left unattended for just a short while and you wouldn’t want the farm!

People love looking at our goats, chickens, and turkeys strutting about the farm. They love watching the fireflies dance about over the open field at night… roaming the nature paths… With dreamy eyes many say to me, “Oh this place is magical! I want a farm, just like it.” I smile and nod, thinking to myself, if they only knew the labor. Would they really want it?

A good marriage is just like a good farm.

People love good marriages, it’s innate. Everyone desires “true love.” Oh, it’s breathtaking. People flock to movies to see a powerful love story about a couple who would do anything for love. They sit with popcorn in hand, tears streaming and wish their love story was “that” one.

Just like a farm, marriages have predators that threaten “true love.” You know what I’m talking about… Something or someone that seeks to destroy you and/or devour your marriage. You’ve got to FIGHT for your marriage! YOU DO! Protect the borders. Maintain the fences. Love and cherish it in sickness and in health- till death do you part.

The work doesn’t stop there. There’s stinky messes to clean,  poisonous vines (words that destroy) to annihilate… love to be lavished sacrificially. . .left unattended for one season and you wouldn’t want the marriage.

Yep… There are moments that I don’t want to farm anymore; like when a mouse runs up my sleeve and out the top of my shirt. I’m finished, I am! But in the grand scheme of things a mouse in my shirt is the very least of the costs of having “that” farm. Some things you just got to get over no matter how unnerving and press on toward the prize of the high calling.

A good marriage is like a good farm. It is a work in process that can never be left unattended- not even for one day. Luscious fruit doesn’t grow effortlessly. You’ve got fight for it. YOU DO.

I always dreamt of living on a farm. Never, ever did I think it would be so hard. But we’ve got “that” farm- where the grass is green and the animals are content. Actually, it is magical to live here but we work hard at it.

Our marriage is magical too, but we work really hard at it.

Gen 3:18-19

“Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field; By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground…”

Gen 2:22-24 “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ‘ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

Edward when he was born

Edward when he was born.

View More: http://simonefoxphotography.pass.us/jenifer-nick

Edward our French Alpine buck.  He’s famous on The Glasgow Farm.

chickens

Sparky and chickens 

Snake eating our breakfast

Yep a black snake in the chicken coop- eating our breakfast! He never came back for another egg after this day.

Edward

A content animal.

Turkey's

Every night before dusk we have to put the Turkey’s in their house or the foxes come looking for them.

Sparky and cat

Trolly unloading people

Trolly unloading people onto our farm for a wedding- 2 hours before they arrived. Edward knocked down his fence that led straight to where the trolly is parked. Dale worked hard to mend the fence before 200 people arrived!

 

Ground hogs- every year Dale secures the garden. He built a wooden fence to the ground with chicken wire around it. They've dug under, climbed over. . . I've turned around while weeding before and seen one looking me straight in the eyes! You've got to fight for your garden!

Ground hogs.  Every year Dale secures the garden. He built a wooden fence to the ground with chicken wire around it. They’ve dug under, climbed over. . . I’ve turned around while weeding before and seen one looking me straight in the eyes! You’ve got to fight for your garden! They love anything with blossoms, especially zucchini, cucumbers and squash.

Fence and gate

Deer  jump over and  foxes crawl under  fences to  get to what they want- it’s up to us to protect within our border.

Comments

  1. Linda says:

    Sharon…I think you need to make an extra garden for the groundhogs…so they stay away from YOUR garden! Or…dig a two foot trench around your garden and start your fence in
    the ground and go 6 feet up (that’s what it says on the internet).

    I will certainly keep your marriage advice in mind. It’s a DAILY job of working at it!

    Thanks for all your insights of what REALLY goes on….to keep it “that farm”!

    • Oh Linda, I love your advice. A special garden for the groundhogs! Yeah, we should do that, dig two feet down and 6 ft up with a fence. Hugs!!

  2. Thanks for the encouragement to CULTIVATE my marriage and to work hard–VERY hard– to keep it “magical”. I’m reminded of the Biblical principle that we will reap what we sow! Hard work at something, always produces great results most definitely! Thanks again for the marriage advice! I look forward to sharing your post with my husband tonight. I might even tease him when he gets home and say as I hug/kiss him, “Hi Honey…welcome back to the farm!” LOL…we actually don’t live on a farm…but he will wonder why I said that. (will be a good way to start the conversation about your encouraging post)

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom….. I really appreciate you sharing your farm pictures. Just love the animals… Not the snake.

  4. shirley says:

    Thank you for sharing those words of wisdom. As a young girl I always thought I wanted to live on a farm…. with horses. Such energy it take to care for all those little critters you have. I so appreciated seeing your pictures of all those little animals……. except for the snake.

  5. Beautiful comparison of farm to marriage. Love the pictures. Animals are
    so precious. Keep fighting for both!

  6. Thank you for a beautiful and very powerful post!

  7. Linda M says:

    Hi Sharon l am so blessed by your teachings. I am a young wife and mum a while ago l was looking for homemaking writers in Glasgow Scotland and your name came up after l searched for homemakers in Glasgow. I then realised that your Surname was Glasgow but you dont actually live in Glasgow.
    lt didnt bother me as l found wisdom and gold on your site.ln Scotland homemaking is not like in the usa or canada there is a lack of women teaching other women on homelife or balancing work and homelife. I look forward to your posts as they are helping me to grow.

  8. I loved seeing the picture of Edward as a baby. Lol Helps me have more compassion for him in spite of his antics. 🙂 lol

  9. Sharon,
    I opened this post yesterday, but didn’t get it read. It was still open this AM when my husband checked the computer. I could hear him laughing from the kitchen and asked, “What are you reading?” No response, but then a “Who’s Sharon Glasgow?” I immediately remembered the title to your post and understand. We have a farm as well and my husband knew everything you were talking about!! Love the analogy, the pictures you share and the one you paint! Thanks for the lesson tonight…I pray it doesn’t just give us a laugh, but encourages us to work on our marriage as hard as we do the farm.
    Awhile back I shared a bunch of posts about cultivating as well…as organic farmers my husband has been doing a lot of that! Blessings to you! See you soon!
    http://titus24u.blogspot.com/2013/07/time-to-cultivate.html

    http://titus24u.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-cultivator.html

  10. Trish says:

    But when only one is willing to do the work, eventually that person becomes weary and discouraged. I’ve come to accept my marriage will never have bumper crops, just the minimum necessary to survive.

  11. Britta Jicks says:

    Thank you for your wisdom, I sometimes feel like the only farmer. Or maybe I’m just the farmer that cleans the barn out while the other one gathers the harvest. I am a people pleaser by nature and I often feel like our marriage and relationship is steady and my husband is busy with so many other things that he feels it isn’t necessary to do anything for us. I’m praying that God will please help me and show me how to ask for help. Why is it so difficult? And why do I just feel like “old reliable” like an old hunting dog. We have company coming and I need strength and help lord, please help. Amen

  12. Fred Holt says:

    Sharon,
    We are too busy to keep house. We try to clean up to normal messy before most come over. I work long hours and am the only driver, so my wife is out long, too.
    A few come as it is and don’t seem to mind. We like them a lot. I’m told that before me my mom’s house was messy and fun back before she had to work outside the home. (I was 4 then, a kinda late baby.) Thanks for the home MESSage. I always want folks over AND want a neat home. Priorities.
    We advise all to make certain to commit to the marriage with your partner 100-100, both glad to carry it all whenever necessary. We love the overlap, too.
    Getting wrapped up in doing, we do often neglect the union, but that’s because we are so united in heart and we so mesh, adept where the other is weak, with a few exceptions.

    Maybe the advice is to invite people to come as they are AND as we are (love me, love my mess). Your post just gave me a change of heart, no longer will I press as hard for neat, not that it ever mattered to the ones who have opportunity to change it (children off for summer). That relieves some stress. I want to be a better spouse and dad and friend and neighbor. So I start now.
    God bless you.

  13. Fred Holt says:

    Let’s all pray for those who do all, or even the lopsided amount, of the HOMEWORK, find a way to move the home culture to more equal participation. That is, more equal work and play for ALL. Everybody does whatever to make certain that ALL get at least nearly equal time to do what they want, more together time, even if that is WORKING together to cook, clean, launder, home maintenance, money making, etc.
    God bless is all.
    I started to reply to a few in lopsided situations, but thought better to put more prayer warriors on this supremely needed prayer.

  14. Heather G says:

    When you allow Him, God leads you to where you needed to be or to what you needed to hear. That was here, today. Thank you for writing this. I needed this reminder. I prayed that God would show me what I needed and this is where he lead me.

  15. We had border collies on the farm when we were growing up. Such keen dogs, and smart! Reminds me of those long ago good Ole days. 🙂

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