The Love Affair that Changed Our Marriage

I’ve actually never confessed this to my husband.

I was so concerned that he would have an affair- that I contrived to have one myself!

It all started many years ago… Several of my friends found out that their husbands were having affairs. My heart broke as I saw each family devastated. I got paranoid about my own husband. Paranoia consumed me until finally I asked the Lord what I should do.

Instantly thoughts flooded my mind. What is it that men want in an affair? Ahh yes, I see…

They want “that woman” who adores him, listens to his every dream, wants to hear his every thought, cherishes him as none other, dresses to impress him, has fun flirting and playing with him, spends every spare moment with him… Who wouldn’t want that?!

Lord, help me to be “that woman.”

Determination set in. I will be “that woman.” I will! We will have the love affair of all love affairs!

There will no need unmet.

It all started like that.

I threw away all my frumpy clothes and started to dress pretty, every day. He loved the feminine look of dresses and my hair down. For many years I mowed 5 acres of grass in a dress. Yes I did!

When he came home from work, I no longer complained about how hard my day was—even though it took every ounce of everything in me to keep my mouth closed. I grabbed him and kissed him like I hadn’t seen him in months.

We ate dinner together, every night. If he was 3 hours late, the kids and I waited and waited. He would say, ” You guys should have eaten without me?”  No phones were on the table, no answering calls, no computer open, no television on… just listening to each other over dinner.

We went to bed at the same time, whether it was 11PM or 4AM. I stayed with him. If he was working on the computer, I got mine and worked next to him. If he wanted to watch a movie, I sat next to him and watched it too, alright… I fell asleep!

If he went to the hardware store or anywhere- we loaded all 5 kids into the vehicle and away we went, together, no matter what time, how cold or hot it was outside.

His friends were my friends and my friends were his. His bank account was my bank account. His vacation was my vacation.  We never went on separate excursions. We lived as one, because we vowed on our wedding day- that we, though two, would become one flesh.

I cherished and adored him. It was the love affair of all love affairs- and still is.

That was many years ago. You know what? That love affair changed our marriage! I actually enjoyed all the changes. Don’t get me wrong, our marriage has taken a lot of hard work. But it’s worth it all! I would encourage you to ask God for His help with your marriage and to have the love affair of all love affairs- with your husband.  Sometimes the love story doesn’t end like mine. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy marriage and families. Beloved friends, Let’s fight for our marriages!

Would you like me to pray for you? Leave your name and I’ll pray for you!

 

 

  • Anonymous said:

    Thank you, Thats beautiful.

    Martha Crider

  • April said:

    I need prayer. My husband has lost his faith in the God of the Bible and no longer believes that the Bible is accurate. He believes he has evidence that someone else wrote it. He’s gone from a bible believing tongue talking praying in the name of Jesus to someone stuck on race and Africa and believes Jesus name isn’t really Jesus and that he wS Ethiopian and believes he has evidence the scriptures were tainted by “Europeans”. We are in trouble. We’ve been married for almost 17 years and have a beautiful daughter. I don’t know how to minister to him because he believes he has the “true” facts on Christianity. I’ve comptenplated separation. I’ve even started planing on getting my finances together so I can take care of me and my daughter without him. He has a history of disappearing for days when we argue. I am at a loss for what to do. I’m close to giving up on him. He’s a stranger to me.

  • Michelle said:

    My good friend josh and I thought we had gotten confirmation from the Lord regarding us courting but it didn’t work out and my heart is so broken and I wish he would reach out to me. Or I wish god would comfort me and reassure me and give me answers regarding me and josh.. please pray for me

  • Sue said:

    Beautifully written, I agree with all you have posted! Blessings,
    Sue

  • Linda kreitz said:

    Sharon

    I need a supernatural confirmation that God wants me to retire from my present job (of 25 years) so I can do more for him.

    Thank you

  • Helen said:

    Satan has tried to destroy our marriage. ..... as well as my health. need prayer. My husband doesn't seem to have any dreams and I have been very sad and anxious.

  • Shelia said:

    HELP! My marriage is struggling after 29 years... need a strategy ??

  • Stacey Faulk said:

    Please prat for my husband and I.

  • Sharee said:

    Please pray for my marriage. We are going through a very difficult time. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.

  • juliette said:

    That is so beautiful! I am divorced and while married we did everything together, Meals and.outings. Ive always been very feminine and dressed well, etc...I could have been more gushing though, but I did idolize him and let him know it! Before marriage, I was finacially independent and trustworthy. After marriage my own credit card was held from me even though I never used it "just in case i would abuse it", even though i never had and I was a disciplined saver, frugal and a tither. I agreed to let him have total control over the money and that was a huge mistake. It enabled secret behavior on his part. Dont ever give up this power just because "hes the man of the house". It can easily be abused and leave you without any choice, but to take bad behavior. Its a rough road getting yourself back financially where you were before marriage.

  • Kim said:

    Beautiful!!!

  • Kat said:

    Praying that God will show me how to love and respect my husband. We used to do everything together and now he won't go with me to Bible studies and just wants to sit in front of the couch all the time. I understand watching a movie with him but just sitting in front of the tv ALL THE TIME makes me wonder if he even wants to be with me anymore.

  • Sd said:

    Love this so much!
    I would love to ask for prayer for my
    Husband and marriage.
    After 25 years of marriage and 3 kids, ages 22, 20 and 16. he wants out and a divorce. We’ve been physically separated for almost 4 years, but went through a very rough time with finding out about his affairs before that.
    He has turned his back on me, our marriage and most importantly God. His heart is so cold and hard.
    He’s had multiple affairs and is living as a single man in an apartment. Yet he still pays all of the bills and sees the kids regularly so that eases his guilt.
    I wasn’t the wife God wanted me to be for many years. I’ve asked my husband and God for forgiveness but my h says it’s too late/ too much has happened and he’s too hurt. He says he loves me but isn’t in love and he just wants to move on. I’ve known him since I was 14 and he was 16! We are 47 and 49 now!!
    I have been standing for the marriage for 8 years with a few false starts.
    The person I see today is not who I married. It is truly the most heart breaking thing you can imagine.
    I have refused to sign papers or talk with a lawyer. And he hasn’t pushed it,
    I’m at a point though where I just don’t know anymore. I don’t feel released from the marriage or my stand but I also realize my husband is never coming back unless God changes his heart and a miracle happens.
    Please pray that God has his way and will. That is truly my hearts desire.
    I have learned to surrender all and lay it all before Him- and pray. That’s about all I can do.
    I have tried everything I know to do and yet nothing changes.
    Please pray for us!
    Thank you!

  • Sharon said:

    I’ve done all these same things and still yet my husband had an affair. We’re trying to save our marriage but it’s truly so very hard to overcome that hurt and betrayal.

  • Latosha said:

    Thank you, so much for sharing.

  • Michael M Caligiuri said:

    Sharon will you pray for my marriage. Satan is constantly on my trail pushing me into temptations that do not want, but tempt my weaknesses.
    Thank you

  • Jeanie Kelley said:

    I was in a marriage for 21 years and really it stemmed from the abuse that I had experienced. It was from the emotional and mental abuse. It was mutual. I also thought he was a christian and he was not. So I would love to have prayer. I am slowly getting there, but the set back I had today with my car makes me want to go and hide in a cave. Thanks so much.

  • JANETTA DOBLER said:

    My husband and I have been married 22 years. We have one son, who is 21 years old. I would like him to spend more quality time with us, to be 'present' when we are together. I know he works hard to support our household, and he says, 'I love you, but i feel like i am a roommate. I have lost 100 lbs, grown my hair long, colored my hair, etc., but there is no intimacy - a peck on the side of the head once in a while. Maybe its just my imagination working overtime, but when we are together, you can barely tell we are together. he can talk to strangers for hours, and barely say 2 sentences to me. I'm sure i am also to blame, as it takes 2 to work at a relationship. Please pray for my marriage.

  • Sue said:

    prayers are always needed thanks and god bless

  • Candy said:

    I so tried to live this model, but my ex was a pilot who was gonfor days at a time, I tried harder, he didn’t, Fter last affair we divorced.. 38 years gone.. God had some one better, someone who loves and Cherish’s me.. I thank God for new beginnings and a new chapter I’m my life. I romance my husband every day..

  • Cheryl Cambridge said:

    Sharon, thank you if you would just add my name to the list you take to god, please.

  • Julian said:

    Beautiful! Please pray for us. Jake and Julian