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Love- The Antidote for The Poison of Unforgiveness

A Path on our farm where I sometimes walk and talk to the Lord

A Path on our farm where I sometimes walk and talk to the Lord

If you are visiting from P31’s devotion today, welcome!

Raging anger morphed him into someone I’d never seen.  It was horrible. Just minutes before, we were having a civilized conversation.

His body racked with pain.  Morphine,  alcohol, and other drugs were his best friends.  Doctors couldn’t find the source of his pain.  He looked desperately to me. “Help me, Sharon, I can’t live like this anymore.”

I prayed with him and when I opened my eyes, asked him the question that led to his rage, “Is there someone you need to forgive?”  He became fidgety.  His voice got stronger and assertive.  “Well, yes but that has nothing to do with, anything.

I asked, “Who can’t you forgive?”  He rolled his eyes, got out of his chair, and morphed into a mad man. Profanities shot from the secret place of his heart.

Gently I said, “Can you forgive them?”

“NO!”  He screamed. “Leave me the %^%$# alone! You have no idea what you are asking!”

With tears in my eyes, I said, “Yes, I do. I’ve had to forgive. . .”

When Satan gets a foothold (a door) into our life through anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness- it’s destructive.

He (Satan) wants to kill, steal, and destroy. Give him the opportunity and he’ll wreck our life; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Even the secular world knows that unforgiveness and bitterness can cause untold physical and mental issues.

What lives within the secret place of our soul, ultimately defines our life.

Every day, many times (even hourly) I have to go before with the Lord and give Him my burdens, grievances, and hurt.  I open the Word desperately searching for answers and He always provides.  He’s faithful.

The more time I spend in the secret place with Him and His Word, the more His attributes become mine.  I see others through His eyes and not my own. I can forgive as He forgives because He gives me His ability.  His love consumes me and I am able to live above my circumstances and not be controlled by them.

Oh, love- His love “is as strong as death. . . Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it” (Song of Songs 8:7a).  Bitterness, unforgiveness. . . can’t live in the presence of Jesus’ love.  It conquers all!

His love is the antidote for the poison of it.  The secret place of our heart is sacred to Jesus. We can’t let unforgiveness reside there.  It can cause serious issues.

In Matthew 15:18, Jesus tells us, “ what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart. . .”  If we bury resentment in the secret place of our heart, it will come out one way or the other.  What lives within the secret place of our soul- ultimately defines our life.

Is there someone you need to forgive?  Someone you can’t love?  Get alone in a room. Shut the door.

1. Ask Jesus to help you by the Helper, Holy Spirit 2. Forgive (meaning to release from judgement) them 3. Tell Satan (out-loud)- “In the Name that is above every other name JESUS… The Accuser (Satan) has no power over me and I’m free.  FREE INDEED!”

There’s also a test I use on my heart.  Think about the person that you may have an issue with. Pray that God will pour bountiful blessings on them and that He will prosper them in everything they do.  If you can’t pray that, go back to step #1.

If they live near by, bring them a plate of cookies (8 of my favorite recipes)or invite them to a homemade German Pot Roast dinner with all the trimmings! If they live far away, send a card or call them on the phone in a kind, humble spirit.  An act of love is powerful.

None of us are exempt from hardships with difficult people.  Injustices are worthy of anger.  It’s healthy to get angry over injustice.  But, anger can never be allowed to rule over us.  We can’t open the door of bitterness and unforgiveness to dwell within.  We must guard the secret place of our heart from everything that pollutes.

Now, to get back to the story with my friend…

He FORGAVE and is a new man!!  He was tormented for 40 years and is now free!  What lives within the secret place of his soul, now gloriously defines his life. He’s a new man with a peace that passes understanding!

Do you or someone in your life struggle with anger, bitterness or unforgiveness? Leave a one word comment below and we will pray. Your comment will enter you to win three of my favorite books, a DVD, the glass candle holders shown and seeds from my zinnia plants here: The Unburdened Heart  by Suzie Eller, A Tale of Three Kings  (A Study in Brokenness) and The Greatest Thing in the World by Henry Drummond and DVD Les Miserables. gift

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Comments

  1. Melissa Barnes says:

    Serenity

    • Burdened!

      • Father, I pray in Jesus’ almighty name that you would lift Renae’s burdens. You said that Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light. You have ALL power to save and help her. Give her the strength in a real and tangible way! Amen.

    • Priscilla says:

      Redemption!

    • Jennifer says:

      Thank you you dont know how much I needed this.

    • Jennifer says:

      Forgiving someone is easy if you really think about it. It’s the forgetting the pain part that I have a hard time with. Please pray for me

  2. Becky J says:

    Peace

  3. I can verify that forgiveness is the key to better mental and physical health. I cite what I experience from my divorce from a mentally disturbed man. Though professing to be a Christian, his outlook and attitudes were not evident. Despite twenty years of marriage and the onset of physical abuse, I knew it was time to walk away. I had bitterness as a companion for the first years after we split. It consumed my energy and made me edgy and unproductive. When I realized how the enemy wanted to make me defeated and enslaved to sadness and pity, I became aware of my unforgiving spirit. Since my repenting and forgiving my ex-husband, I have found strength from God to become a person dependent upon the Lord Jesus. I find fulfillment and joy in my Christian walk. Thank you for writing this very concise description of how forgiveness is the key to finding God’s peace and purpose in life.

    • Marie says:

      Wow, I can absolutely relate to what you went through as I am going through it and myself as well was married to an abusive man who was a drunk and into porno and had slept around and also abused my two daughters and our family pets and even killed one cat in front of our daughter when she was 7. So as a Christian I thought I was to give him chances as God gives us many chances but he never acted on his promises so I finally knew it was time to walk away. But he was arrested for abuse that caused me to finally walk away. The court ignored all the evidence of abuse and believed his lies that he was the victim. He still denies any abuse towards me or the girls and the courts force the girls to see him and are now going to force them to see his girlfriend. He breaks court orders and gets away with it. So now here I am angry, depressed because he has not suffered for any of his abuse and lies and games. The more he does the more he gets away with. So when I hear that we are to pray for these types of people and ask God to bless them I have a hard time because I do not want him to be blessed he does not deserve it he knows what he is doing he was supposedly saved when we were married. So how do you really forgive someone when they never stop just keeps at it, not to mention he treats his girlfriend better then he treated us and he threatens the girls about her house and car. So please how? We suffer greatly as we are forced to live in fear of the court and the FOC counselor as she threatened me that she would give him custody and said that if he marries his girlfriend that everything in the judgment was off the table. So where is our justice for his abuse? I struggle so much with the word as it says God delivers us form our enemies but yet we are still being attacked by him. Then the word said God repays vengeance, it feels like I am being punished for his abuse. I am struggling greatly as this is not fair…

      • Thank both of you ladies for sharing your experience! Marie, remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean “letting someone off the hook.” And it also doesn’t mean that they will go unpunished. But it does mean releasing them from your judgement. You are taking yourself out of the judgement seat- and instead declaring that the Lord Jesus Christ alone has that right and authority. Deuteronomy 32:36 tell us, “For the LORD will vindicate his people
        and have compassion on his servants…” He will vindicate you. You can trust Him. Father, I ask You in the almighty name of Jesus, that You would give peace- perfect peace to Marie. You know she is not being treated with justice… so I ask You to give her justice. Father, let her know that You will vindicate her as she “releases” this man from the wounds in her heart. Bring healing to her brokenness. Give her strength and power to overcome these circumstances. Amen.

        • Marie says:

          Thank you Sharon for explaining that more in detail and your prayers during this difficult time in my life. I pray for all the women that are going through this that the Lord lifts us all up with the right hand of his righteousness and pull us out of this pit of unforgiveness that we are struggling with and the hurt and pain in Jesus name. Amen

          • Nancy says:

            Marie, I pray for peace and good things for your life and the lives of your daughters going forward. May you find peace in something everyday, no matter how small. I hope your days become brighter.

        • Amen to Sharon’s prayer.

          Marie, I pray for physical and spiritual protection for you and your girls. I pray that justice will come about. Maybe a different FOC counsellor – I don’t know how God will help you.
          Remember He is a “strong and mighty tower”. Bless you.

    • Kelli says:

      How did you do this?? I am currently divorcing a narcissist and I am so very bitter and angry and I can’t seem to let it go.. What I thought was love and what was going to be my happy ever after was all fake. I was so excited about raising our daughter with her father together, but now I am so mad that I can’t do that. How do you get over it???

      • Father in Heaven, I ask that You would give Kelli the strength and power to forgive. Let Your Holy Spirit minister to her in this challenging time in her life and fill her with Your perfect love and peace. Let her know that You will take care of her and her daughter. You are always faithful to respond when we cry out to You. Be her rock. In Jesus’ almighty name, amen.

    • It is amazing that you were able to forgive and I hope that I can do the same someday. I have been divorced from a narcissist for a little over a year and am still fighting to keep my daughter safe from his emotional abuse and rages. We were married for over 15 years and it was my faith that kept me there that long – realizing he was sick and trying to be in the marriage for better or worse. I want to forgive him just so I can move on with my life but now his father is involved and they are using the court system to bleed me dry. Now that visitation is up to a therapist they are working on my daughter and turning her against me. Part of the reason I knew I had to get out was for her safety. It all seems so hopeless. I just want to live a normal, calm life. I keep working on myself, I know he nor his family will ever change – btw, also very showy about their church involvement. I guess all I can do is keep forgiving and be there for my daughter when she needs me.

      • Marie says:

        It’s amazing how these types of people can twist the truth around and get the courts to believe them and make themselves the victims. I have very bad luck with the courts even though I have evidence of the abuse he has managed to twist it around now I am possibly going to be forced to have to share my daughters with his girlfriend which is very unfair and unjust because of the abuse he did to the girls as well and the fact that I am the one who gave birth to these girls and carried them in my womb I feel he does not deserve his rights as a father because he is till the same and he told them he was going to find them a better mother. So my struggle with forgiveness is I don’t understand why the God will not stop him and his evil. It feels like he can do whatever he wants and I am to just forgive him and accept it just not fair!

      • Hi Lila, I will be praying for you in this. The Word doesn’t say that we should forgive people when the situation starts to go the way that it should go (earthly justice). But it says that we need to forgive so that the Father in Heaven can forgive us (Mark 11:25-26). The reason that you must and can forgive, in spite of the terrible things that have happened- is that it will bring you into right relationship with the Father again. From this place, you will see your heart be healed like you never imagined possible. When you release these wounds and the person who wounded you- back to the Throne of Grace- you will find room in your heart for everything to be restored that has been lost. You’re more than a conquerer in Christ and I pray that this truth will strengthen you to keep “releasing (the cause of the hurt) from personal judgement.” The Lord will bring justice and restoration to you as you seek after Him. With love, Sharon

  4. Debbie says:

    Love is an act of endless forgiveness. (Jan Karon in Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good)

  5. brenda says:

    Joy

  6. veronica says:

    rest

  7. help

    • Nancy says:

      You said “help” – reach out to the Savior and to those who can genuinely help you. Peace.

  8. Tamie Swinburne says:

    Grace

  9. Lacey says:

    Peace. I need it in my heart.

  10. Amiee says:

    Sorrow

  11. Jeanne says:

    Strength!

  12. Tessa says:

    Pray for me, I live with bitterness, angry, and unforgiveness

    • Father in the only almighty name of Jesus, I lift up Tessa to you. Let her know that because of Your costly sacrifice on the cross, You purchased the grace for her to have every, single need supplied in her life. This includes the power and strength to forgive men and women who have hurt her. Help her to know that holding on to these wounds and offenses are only going to harm her- and not those who have hurt or offended. Help her choose to receive Your healing for her heart. You are faithful to defend, and avenge for all of the injustices- but it is not her rightful place to hold these any longer. Thank you for her heart that is reaching out for healing of her brokenness. Bless her life… in Jesus’ name, amen.

  13. Caci Sandman says:

    I wantv to first thank God and The Holy Spirit for bringing this to me through you. Anger and hurt lives in and affects not only my life but my children’s lives in many ways preventing us from having the relationships we desire/ deserve. Lord please bless me with these and other gifts so that I may heal and use these blessings to wittness to others. Thank you and God bless.

    • Yes Father in Heaven, give Caci the things that she is asking You for, according to Your word. Bless her life and give her strength to give you the anger, the bitterness, the hurts, and sorrows. You are strong enough to take it all! In Jesus’ name, amen.

  14. Carol says:

    I think I need that book bc I’m recently divorced and totally broken

  15. Alaina says:

    Resentment

  16. Christina says:

    Truth

  17. Annette says:

    Freedom

  18. gerry says:

    Unforgiveness and anger has been blocking my joy and peace. I just realized it from this blog. Thank you for allowing God use you to show me my sin and what I have to do.

  19. Forgive

  20. Sherry says:

    Anger,resentment,

    • Father in Heaven, give Sherry strength to give you all anger and resentment. Let her know that You want her to simply shift if out of her heart and into Your hands… You love her so much and want the best for her!! Bring her the healing to her heart as only You can. You have promised to help her. Bless her life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  21. Shirley Meyer says:

    JESUS!

  22. Karla H. says:

    courage

  23. Judy Redden says:

    ATTITUDE :]

  24. Contentment.

  25. Maria B. says:

    Bitter

  26. Friendships

  27. Alissa says:

    Freedom

  28. Dottie says:

    Courageousness

  29. Danielle says:

    Relief

  30. Kathy says:

    Bitterness

  31. hayley says:

    acceptance

  32. Alana Fletcher says:

    Acceptance

  33. Sarah says:

    Myself

  34. Lynette says:

    Anger and bitterness are two ugly pills I am dealing with right now. I have an optic nerve issue that I am struggling with right now. I am angry with doctors, angry with family, and angry with some church family for not being there for me right now. I have been sick with chronic migraines for over a year now, plus I had a non cancerous lump removed from my breast in January of this year, I know it is so wrong but I have been so angry with everything and bitter about my trials. I know God has a plan for us, I just want to be able to see what he has planned for me.

    • Father in Heaven, I lift up Lynette to you. I pray for a radical transformation over her life in this time. You are present with her- even in the darkest of valleys. You are the light that will support her and give her strength and peace. Help her to trust that You are working on her behalf. You are creating a number of powerful testimonies through this daughter! Help her know that she has the power from your Holy Spirit to overcome all of these things- including the bitterness and anger. Help her to know that she can cry out to you- real tears and that it will give her strength in the future as she shows you her pain. Let her know you are not the one causing the pain- but that you will use this pain for great glory. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 tells us, “…Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” Blessings in abundance to you sister. With love, Sharon.

  35. Patricia says:

    Peace

  36. My daughter –bitter over loss

    • Father in Heaven, I ask that you would bring a mighty peace and healing to this daughter’s heart. You are working “all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes” (Romans 8:28). Let her cry out to You for help. Be her Shepherd in a mighty way in this time. In Jesus’ almighty name, Amen.

  37. Jeanie Kelley says:

    Myself.

  38. Peace of mind

  39. Lana Black says:

    peace and forgiveness

  40. Thankyou!

  41. Thankyou!

  42. Heather says:

    bitterness

  43. pray, pls

  44. I am struggling with someone in the workplace whom does not treat all of us equally and rules that are in place are not carried out equally. This person is in an authoritative position and has made it clear one does not question their decisions even when asked for others opinion , if it’s not what they want to hear, you then become a target for all their negativity and micromanaged to the point it is evident to others around you. It has gotten to the place where I dont say anything and just do what I am told even though I struggle with this as I feel what they want me to do, say, is not what I believe is ethical or morally . I want to do right thing, but also fear of losing my job, and this has made me resentful and bitter towards thus person. I keep thinking maybe It is me, but when I am in a room with one other person or ten or none, I am not acknowledged when all others get a greeting, I do not. It’s very hurtful and I resent this.

    • Father I lift up RMJ to Your Throne of Grace… You told us through Romans 12:19-21, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Give this person the insight and wisdom to know how to overcome this situation with good. Let this person have strength and a joyful spirit, even in the midst of a hard and controlling atmosphere. Mostly, help them to be able to give all their emotions over to You- to be fully controlled by Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ almighty name, amen.

  45. Sunitha says:

    I struggle with anger, and my words are harsh. Please pray, as I work on this.

    • Father, I lift up Sunitha to You… You are the kind, gracious, and compassionate Father in Heaven that we cling to. Help Sunitha to give you her heart and emotions on a fast, and frequent basis! Let her know that You always want to bear her burdens. Nothing is too hard for you. Nothing is too overwhelming for you. Help her to bring her mind and tongue into submission of your pure Holy Spirit. Proverbs 18:20-21 tells us, “With the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied; He will be satisfied with the product of his lips. 21Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” Let her find sweet fruit to eat and share with all the people in her life. In the name above every other name, Jesus Christ. Amen.

  46. Lindsay says:

    Thank you for this post. I’ve been trying to figure out how to forgive a person that greatly betrayed me in every way. All I trusted this person with was violated. I personally have healed but am stuck with forgiving this person. My heart wants to but I feel just praying the words are empty. I’ve been praying for God to show me where I’m stuck, to move my heart to a place where I can forgive and have it be true not just empty words. All you say is true, bitterness, anger, from a wrong doing can rot your soul and body. Thank you for all your words and wisdom…they hit the heart of so many of us!!

    • Thank you for your post Lindsay. I am going to pray for you now. Father, I lift up Lindsay to You and ask for a reminder of Your great love for her- that was proven at the cross. Let her remember the great cost and worth of the sacrifice that You gave- to ransom her life- forever. She was worth it to You. Let her be filled today with a new understanding of Your forgiveness and grace toward her- that she can also release these offenses and wounds back to You. You want her to be fully free. Let her give You her burdens, so that she can receive Your freedom in her everyday life. You have given her the power through the Holy Spirit’s help. Show her that You are all that she needs. In Jesus’ name, amen. With love, Sharon.

  47. Sherri says:

    Forgiveness

  48. Melissa says:

    Reconciliation

  49. Marla says:

    My children have some bitterness.

  50. Paige says:

    Overflow

  51. Elaine Segstro says:

    Peace

  52. Katy Coffman says:

    I want to thank you for being willing to share this with us. I praise God for using your words to open my heart to forgiveness. God bless you!

  53. Surrender!

  54. Ooh I needed this post… I struggle daily with this… Feel free to pray with me, I want to move forward, I just feel stuck in a tangle of hurt, unforgivness, bitterness, anger and pain… I WANT to overcome… I WANT to be free from this, but the memories are more that I can fight on my own 🙁

  55. Heather P. says:

    Infidelity

  56. Free Indeed. I need to utilize this to have peace and forgiveness to mourn the loss of my marriage. Thank you!

  57. Lynnette says:

    I’ve been married to a man living in this vicious cycle…it destroys the whole family. I pray the Holy Spirit would prod his heart until he takes the steps necessary to forgive and move on. We can’t live in the victory Christ intended while carrying the baggage of unforgiveness. Lord help me to always forgive as you forgave me. Give me wisdom and strength to overcome the effects his anger has had on our family. We praise you and are so grateful for your many blessings.

  58. JewelSJw4 says:

    Redeemed

  59. Debi Schuhow says:

    Jesus

  60. Kelli says:

    Please pray for me.. I am so bitter and so angry it is slowly consuming my life, all the while my soon to be ex husband is living foot loose and fancy free.. I just can’t understand why.. How do I stop it and let it go?? It is slowly consuming my life and I have two precious children I can’t do this to..

  61. Yes

  62. carla santiago says:

    Disappointed!

  63. MeLinda Wiseman says:

    Pray for my: husband

  64. Gloria Gilpatrick says:

    Grateful

  65. Donna says:

    Tired

  66. Stephanie Raley says:

    Struggling with this….

  67. Terri says:

    My sister Pam has so much anger inside of her. She made a conscious decision to walk away from God many years ago, and that decision has reaped horrible consequences. She is now trying to get back to God, but she struggles daily. She mostly takes her anger out on our other sister and myself, since our parents are deceased. She doesn’t have a very teachable spirit, and since nothing is ever her fault, it’s extremely difficult to try and help her see what God wants her to do. I believe she needs to forgive many people, but mostly herself.

    • Thank you for sharing Terri. I pray for grace and humbleness over each person. It sounds like your sister needs a lot of prayer support in this time. I pray that the Lord would surround her with His love and help her to receive from Him. He is her Shepherd. He is the author and finisher of her faith. He will help her. Just keep praying! Don’t grow weary in doing good toward her. Blessings to you sister!

  68. Light

  69. Melissa says:

    Anger

  70. Laura says:

    Thank-you. Buried,dug-up again and needing to release ….sometimes it seems like it’s a need to forgive again when a wound is reopened and I pray that Satan will not keep a foothold and try that door again.

  71. KATHIE says:

    WORN!!!!

  72. Joanne Peterson says:

    Chaos

  73. Tammy says:

    Desire freedom ?

  74. Judy James says:

    burdened

  75. Deborah Herbst says:

    After great small group last night, I was hurt by a comment by my husband this morning. How perfect and timely this morning’s devo was for me/us!
    Thanks!

  76. carol m says:

    anger, peace, love of family these posts always come just when I need them!

  77. Cheryl says:

    Help!

  78. Colleen says:

    READY

  79. Abuse

  80. Jealousy

  81. Abused

  82. Holly Duncan says:

    Love

  83. worn

  84. Reconciliation

  85. This is so something I’m working on right now-these would be valuable resources for me!

  86. It’s impressive how God just showed me some little, heavy burdens hidden in my heart. A new freedom will begin today!
    Thank you!
    God bless you! 🙂

  87. MeLinda Wiseman says:

    faith

  88. Brother

  89. MeLinda Wiseman says:

    future

  90. lee

  91. Thank You , Thank You, for allowing Him to speak through you!

  92. Reina Franco says:

    Unity

  93. STRUGGLING. My dad did some “not so nice things” to me when I was younger. It took a few years for me to gather enough strength to tell my mom…and she didn’t believe me. Everything was swept under the rug and has never been brought up again. That was 34 years ago and I’m still struggling with complete forgiveness. My parents still live close by and haven’t done alot to help me over the years but go on with daily rituals like nothing ever happened. They are getting older now and will need me soon and I don’t know how to feel.

  94. Sharon says:

    Faithful

  95. Anger prevents me from living in peace and joy

  96. Stephanie says:

    Love keeps no record of wrongs, physically or mentally.

  97. Chelsey Williamson says:

    I hold anger in my heart towards a family member and I pray that I can let go and find peace. It is a huge burden that I’m holding and I know I can get through it with Gods help.

  98. Vivian says:

    sister

  99. Janice says:

    Jealously and Bitterness…Please pray that I can let go and love

  100. Kray

  101. Angela Clark says:

    In need

  102. Alison says:

    forgiveness

  103. Beloved.

  104. Lucinda says:

    Choices!

  105. Laura Osorio says:

    Peace

  106. Amber M. says:

    family

  107. help..

  108. help

  109. Celeste says:

    Trust

  110. Cia Johnson says:

    Pray for my son, he is filled with anger, resentment and sadness because of his Dad, they’re relationship and that we had to leave our home due to his Dads alcohol use and anger. It effects his friendships, relationships and our home. Thank you

  111. Anyka Harris says:

    The love of God is amazing and allows me to forgive and love unconditionally for those who may have hurt me. Peace!!!

  112. Forgiveness and bitterness

  113. Normalcy

  114. Rhonda Mullins says:

    I have a lot of anger towards my stepson. He is very lazy and thinks everything should be given to him. When I say anything to my husband it causes us to argue. The son nodes nothing to help out around the house, just plays games and sleeps. He comes out of his room to eat. My children are gone to college, he is still waiting for his AF basic training date. My children always helped out, while he did nothing. It causes a lot of friction between my husband and I. We have been married 4 years. Cody is 19.

  115. Debbie says:

    Praying for healing with family members. It’s been 5 long,sad years! I know God is doing His work behind the scenes.

  116. Thankful

    • Marie says:

      Very confused on forgiving someone when he has no remorse or guilt for any of the pain or heartache he has caused us. He walks with pride of no wrongdoing but yet turns the truth into lies. Manipulates others to believe he is innocent then those rise up against me. So how can you forgive someone who could care less and whom you have watched get away with what is according to the law wrong? How do you forgive someone when you are forced to see them and they do not care about forgiveness? How do you forgive someone who is constantly planning evil against you? Why am I to feel sorry for him, when he knows the truth but chooses to do wrong and continue to hurt us? Very confused!!!

      • Rhonda says:

        Marie, I understand how you feel. I’m confused about it too. I live with the one who feels no remorse for what he has done and what he continues to do. He knows he causes problems between his father and I. He does things on purpose to make us argue. He wants us to get a divorce so I will no longer be around. It’s hard to forgive him for the things he has said about me and to me. He has hurt me deeply. I just don’t know how to forgive him.

      • Thank you for your post and questions Marie. It sounds like you have been in a very hard situation. What we have to remember (Biblically speaking), is that our forgiving someone else can not ever be based upon their actions or attitudes (however terribly wrong they may be). Forgiving someone is not saying that you are able to reconcile the differences that have come or saying that their choices have been right. But it is releasing your personal hurt, wounds, and offenses from your heart- into the hand of the Lord. He wants to turn the situation around- but we have to obey Him first.

        This also does not mean to willingly submit yourself to an abusive situation (if abuse is involved please seek out a trustworthy Biblical counselor- who can help you as an individual and then, try to have the other person can go as well to mediate as a non-biased person), but what it does mean is humbling yourself before the almighty God- that He would vindicate you in the long term. We never know when this will happen, or what it will look like, but we know that God is faithful to do this as we entrust our circumstance to His hands. He loves you and will act on your behalf!

        Father in Heaven, I ask that You would pour out healing and peace to Marie. Let her hear Your voice of guidance and leadership in this tough situation. Be her source of strength and help! This is who You are! You are the “Great I Am” and are her “very present help in time of trouble” (Psalm 46:1). Thank You for her life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

  117. wisdom and discernment

  118. Michelle says:

    humbled

  119. Martha says:

    Worried!

  120. Teresa says:

    Anger and bitterness toward someone I used to consider a close friend. I found out in March my dad has stage 4 lung cancer and the only treatment is chemo. His prognosis is 7-12 months. He has had low sodium and continues to have pleural effusion. He has a chest tube and fluid has to be drained every other day at home by me. Please pray for him. And me and our entire family. While working with my coworker/ex-friend a few weeks ago I was told that I act like the only person who has ever had a sick dad and that is all I talk about and she is tired of hearing it. I was very hurt and angered by her words to me. I lost my temper and do not remember all that was said. I have always had the time and compassion to listen to her problems and her go on and on. This person has to be the best or at least she thinks so. It has been very difficult to stay calm with the subtle insults she has flung at me from my hairstyle to my clothing. I need to find it in my heart to forgive this person who I never want to have contact with again. It’s a matter of time until I run into her as we have daughters in school together. I also learned that her daughter was talking about our fight at school to my daughter’s friend.

    • Thank you for sharing your heart Teresa. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling in this time! 🙁 I will pray that the Lord will help you to forgive her in a real and tangible way. Forgiveness always begins with remembering the extent of times that our Heavenly Father has forgiven us. At the cross, He surrendered all for us. He took the heavy weight of punishment that each of us deserved from the Heavenly Father- so that we could enter into His joy and peace. This doesn’t mean that we can always reconcile with people (even though we may want to). But we can forgive in order to be obedient to the Father.

      Father, I lift up my sister in these things and ask that You would come and give her freedom. I ask that You would remove the enemy’s schemes to kill, steal, or destroy her life and give back to her 100 fold what has been lost. Help her to seek Your face about forgiveness and be able to release this person- so that she can receive more of Your peace (that You already purchased for her at the cross). Thank you for Your perfect love and presence in the toughest of situations. In Jesus’ almighty name, amen. Sharon.
      p.s.- I will be praying for your father and family as well!

  121. Trying soooo hard to forgive someone, then love them. Desperately need more help, it is not working on my own.

  122. Lora C says:

    Healed

  123. Timely message thank you. Exactly what I need to hear. I have to shut the open doors and forgive.

    • Amen Lisa! You have everything that you need- in Christ! Keep trusting Him to give you strength. He will always help you by His Spirit.

  124. Sandra says:

    I

  125. Abandoned

  126. BROKEN

  127. Ansley Barnes says:

    Anger

  128. Laura says:

    Ex

  129. I have anger and bitterness to Randy . Also to myself

  130. Julie says:

    Hurt

  131. Tina B says:

    Prayer to forgive and vindicated. My in law and aunt in law are desperate to control my husband I feel so alone in my marriage. He has had a epilpsey condition and they over medicated him for years now we changed meds and he is a new man. However our marriage is in a crital point. He is wanting to stick up for me when his mom and aunt want nothing to do with me. They don’t recognize me as that I exist at all. He is being forced to choose. However I have been having anxiety. His mom requested 2 years ago I do something and now she is lying about it and it destroyed what ever relationship we have. If we have children I don’t want her to be near them for fear she will harm them emotionally the way she did my husband. She controls and leaves notes and beg him to see her then gets herself sick. It’s a cycle. Since my husband has been trying to stand on his own two feet Satan has been attacking. I have had more panic anxiety attacks in the past few weeks then I have in a long time. This would be helpful for not just me but him as well. There are so many I need to forgive and I just wish God would move quicker for vindication. I need a miracle on their hearts they act like Christians but don’t know the Lord truly.

  132. Cheryl W. says:

    Hope

  133. Sheree says:

    Beautiful… this was such an amazing devotion to read and after reading some of the comments I know so many of us struggle with forgiving the hurts and anger the devil has trialed to us. It was a beautiful reading thank you and God bless you.

  134. Sonya says:

    Luke 7:47

  135. Dear Sharon,
    Thank you for your timely blog via the ps31 emails I get. I had a HUGE breakthrough after reading it. I had a deep heart and resentment that I have been unable to detach from for over two years. Even with ongoing prayer and counseling. Today u take the step to reach out to that person. Praise Jesus fir the freedom I am experiencing. It is only by His Spirit that I can do this. Yipeeeeee! 🙂

  136. Martha T. says:

    Unburdened.

  137. Jerre Roller says:

    Forgiveness from my son who hates me.

  138. Kathryn says:

    Thank you Sharon for speaking God’s truth. I need God’s help to receive His forgiveness for me – I am angry at myself and feel so very burdened by my sins. I know that I must walk in repentence and receive God’s forgiveness. The devil taunts me and I know that the battle is the Lord’s……but, I am weak. God bless you Sharon and thank you.

  139. I thank God His Holy Spirit is helping me and teaching me how to forgive like He does. Yesterday at church we had a guest speaker and he spoke on the subject of forgiveness. God spoke to me through this speaker, and then followed up further with me on the same day on the same topic –forgiveness– when I read your post Sharon. I was glad to find that you use the same test I now have learned to use—and that is… to pray blessings over those who have hurt me, and to make an extra effort to be kind to them. I am learning that forgiveness is a decision to release the person who has hurt/harmed me—to release them from judgement, and that it often can feel/seem “irrational” to release them especially when the hurt and pain they caused is great and deep. I’ve learned that unforgiveness towards a person is like preparing poison for that person, but then drinking the poison myself—because unforgiveness harms me more. Yesterday’s speaker at church help me realize there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation–they are NOT the same thing! Forgiveness can be carried out by an act of my will or my decision to choose to release a person from judgement for the harm/hurt done against me (it only requires me to forgive) while reconciliation is a process that can take time and involves my self and the other person who has harmed me, both willing to reconcile.

    Please pray for me because I am protected by a court-ordered restraining order placed on someone who physically harmed me and threatened my husband, and children—so I am still praying through this. I have forgiven my assailant from my heart, pray blessings over him and his family, but because I’ve heard that there is no remorse or repentance (just laughter) expressed by that person for what he did, there is still the possibility he would likely harm me again if he had the chance. So I struggle with the whole idea of whether it is or will ever be in my best interest or the interest of my family to attempt reconciliation with my violent assailant. I pray for his heart to be changed! God continues to work on my heart by His grace! Winning your books could help me on this journey of completely understanding the process of reconciliation, and further help me pursue on a daily basis God’s call to forgive completely like He forgives, and to also help me make every effort to be at peace with all men. Thanks for the chance to win your book giveaway! JoyB.

  140. Unforgiveness, bitterness,resentment,anger. Please God help me to forgive even if they don’t deserve it. I thirst for your Word and joy in my heart.

  141. Bobbie says:

    Amazed

  142. kathy says:

    struggling

  143. Linda says:

    Praying foe emotional healing between my son in law and my life partner. Prayers please!
    This is tearing my family apart, and breaking g my heart. Thanks to all.

  144. Amanda says:

    Thank you! I’ve been harboring anger, resentment and bitterness toward someone for over a decade for what they have done…it turned me into someone I don’t want to be. Thanks to your post, I got alone with God and forgave them. You helped me to see clearly why I should. Thanks again!

  145. Jessica says:

    Prayers

  146. Jan Weddell says:

    heartbroken

  147. Nancy says:

    Thanks.

  148. Changing

  149. Husband has anger issues and a deep seated grudge against many people. I am being worked on by the Holy Spirit-God wants me to forgive husband (not always an easy task) and keep myself from sin of bitterness and pride. I must remember I’m not perfect by a long shot and I must focus on being right with God not focus on another’s sin or exacting justice on my own. Patience in waiting on God even if that means waiting until eternity for resolving of issues and wonderful peace.

    But I also need much wisdom for when he does get angry-when it happens it’s fierce, hurtful and frightening and I don’t want to live in fear or my kids to live in fear-fear of when will next episode be and how do I protect myself and kids if anger moves from words and yelling and occasional broken object to me or kids being the “object” it’s not happened yet but who wants to live not knowing? And what’s really hard on me is the words spoken in anger-I pray, I cry i tell myself they aren’t true but the words are so cruel at times and it hurts deep down and I find myself getting all confused -like maybe it is my fault etc and its a huge battle for me to say no his anger isn’t my fault. I.must add that husband when not upset is a great help with kids, housework and is very loving when I’m struggling with my 3 chronic diseases. He sees to be in a vicious cycle and I know Satan wants his heart but I pray for my husband’s release from this sin and that I won’t be bitter and won’t hold onto the hurt when things do happen. Thank you for the devotion and blog, it was a big help and blessing. Thanks also, for putting up with my non one word comment:)

  150. Michelle says:

    Forgiveness

  151. Susann says:

    Guilty…

  152. Mary Cashion-Smith says:

    Natalie, Scottie, Mary……freedom & redemption.

  153. Encouraged!

  154. Susan says:

    Depressed

  155. May the Lord continue to help me foregive and release the resentment and anger.

  156. Kursty says:

    Mother

  157. Anonymous says:

    Mark

  158. Trina says:

    my x

  159. Anonymous says:

    John…please pray for release for him..

  160. Nancy says:

    mistrust

  161. Carol says:

    lies

  162. Rene R says:

    Darkness

  163. M Dunn says:

    pray4me

  164. Nancy says:

    I was in love with a man and we were engaged . He decided that he did not want this anymore. It has been a year and nine months and I still can’ t let go completely. I think about him all the time. He has gone on with his life and is involved with someone else. I know I need to forget but it hurts so bad. I have gave it to God but then I take it back. Please pray for me. Satan uses this to control me. I feel so all alone. I just want God’s will for my life. And I know he has a plan for me. I just have to be faithful a nd trust him.

  165. Dana Blayney says:

    Forgiven but too lost and hardened to forgive.

  166. richard says:

    hate

  167. Vonnie Kronk says:

    Freedom

  168. Melani says:

    Redemption

  169. Tara M. says:

    Hurt!

  170. Kimberly Simons says:

    Strength… A “friend” just tore me apart yesterday. God works in amazing ways, that this P31 would touch me in my current circumstance and lead me this encouraging, positive blog.

  171. Anonymous says:

    mother

  172. Judy S. says:

    Poisoned
    I am blinded and bound with this web of unforgiveness n bitterness . It’s destroying me from d inside n I’m scared n very alone even though I’m clinging to Jesus. Help!!!

  173. Amanda says:

    Identifying who to forgive – perhaps I put myself in a situation where some undesireable things happened to me.

  174. Raquel Aguillon says:

    Love can and will defeat Darkness?

  175. Hurting.

  176. Michelle says:

    Worn

  177. Martha Navarro says:

    I am trying to forgive the people who have really hurt me. I feel like I have but then resentment sets in so I know I haven’t truly forgiven them. Pray that I forgive these people each and every time they continue to hurt me.

  178. Hello…just need a place to share so thanks for providing this forum. I grew up in a home where my parents tried to do their best but there was neglect to me emotionally and physically as well as no affirmation but criticism. I became a Christian at 22 . I married at age 25 to a man who I would find later to be the son of a narcissistic Mother. He preferred pleasing her at my expense, treated me disrespectfully especially in front of our son and was so involved with his work and travel that he was not even mentally home when he was home. He (was/is?) in bondage to pornography, has been hurtful during intimacy,and also has extreme anger which I never understand when he explodes over me asking a simple question. Just today he kicked in our metal trash can. He makes me feel like it’s all my fault. I became a frustrated and bitter person who was an angry Mom. He respects his Mom, why couldn’t he do the same for me ? My son pulled away from me and even though he says he forgives me for the times I hit him in anger, he does not want to have a relationship with me. He is 24 now and was married this past weekend. His father was welcome but I was not. I don’t even have a question except to say that if my son really has forgiven me isn’t it possible that he just doesn’t want to be around me ? I guess that is his prerogative. In all of this I submit to God who is sovereign. I know we reap what we sow but my husband whom I keep forgiving, and praying for as well as his mother never seem to lose a relationship the way I have. I pray that God helps me to be better and not bitter because of Christ’s forgiveness to
    me. Pray that I will forgive myself and learn to see how much God accepts me in Christ. I do good for a while and then feel bad at times. Thanks for listening

    • Jerre Roller says:

      Kim, this sounds so much like me it’s incredible. I too have lost the relationship with my son over the past problems. He insists that it’s all my fault (everything) and that he no longer wants any relationship with me or his siblings who are not bitter about the past. He is 38 now and wasn’t this bad until he married himself and had problems with his own family. But I have forgiven myself for the past and asked him for forgiveness. He refuses to even speak with me. However, I have truly forgiven myself and have a wonderful relationship with God. I believe that God needs us to forgive ourselves which it seems you are having trouble doing. Please look in your heart for forgiveness for yourself. You seem to be taking too much guilt for things which were not all your fault or maybe not at all your fault. My way of doing this was to refuse to accept any more blame. God has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself. Those 2 are the most important. Then live your life to the fullest potential. Be happy with what you have. Understand that God does give forgiveness before we ever ask. So pray and meditate on Him and ask him to show you how to forgive yourself.

  179. michele says:

    consumed

  180. Dee Cameron says:

    Bobby

  181. Husband has bitterness and unforgiveness for his mother and his health and relationship with the Lord are suffering. We are in ministry at our church. Thank you for praying!

  182. Tammy Anderson says:

    Betrayed

  183. April says:

    Broken

  184. Elisha says:

    Ignored

  185. Ginger M. says:

    peace

  186. MYSELF!!

  187. Martie Grobler says:

    Hi I have a lot of rejection now in my life! It started about 5 years ago when my daughter and her husband and 2 children immigrated to Canada and my husband left me. They do not talk to me and then with my youngest we went through a very bad time. She tried to commit suicide several times because her father rejected her all her life and she was an outstanding student but he never acknowledged that so she dropped out of school just before her last matric exam. You can do nothing in South Africa if you do not have matric. She is studying now at a music school and she is good but she missed out on something bigger. But I do hold on to God who will get her where she is suppose to be. And then my eldest son was also rejected by his father he verbally abused the three of us daily…. and he is 34 now and just can’t get to find his purpose in life. I have a younger son 32 who was also abused by his dad who used to say he is too stupid to go to school why waste time. I helped my son to get to read at the age of 16 and helped him to study for a chef. He now has his own restaurant and married with 2 children but his wife recently started to prefer my husband and his girlfriend so now I am being rejected again. They also do not talk to me and I have helped her to bake cakes and decorate it and she has her own business in that and doing well. So I just don’t get it what am I doing so wrong as I really am trying my best and every time I help someone they reject me afterwards. Please pray for me I find it is always me that tries to make up I do not have an unforgiving heart because I know it is not from the Father. I have been hurt a lot this last 5 years and it seems just to go on and on. I have studied to be a teacher at the age 48 when my husband left me so now I can provide for my youngest studies. Please pray that she and Douw will forgive their father for all the hurt. There is so much I do not tell because it is just too much to share but we do need prayers please. I just think so much time goes away where I missed out on my grand children. Sorry for this long essay I tried to make it short. Thank you for praying for us.

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