The Good Wife Recipe

Being a good wife is a lot like being a good cook.

Any cook using the same recipe and instructions can produce a dish that tastes entirely different from another.  Why is this?

Well, attention to detail distinguishes a great cook from an average one.

Take fried apples for example…  All that you need are apples, sugar, butter and cinnamon. But, not every cook makes them the same.   I cook mine on high (I want them slightly caramelized) and I never put a top on or they get mushy.  If you take the same ingredients, cook them on low and put a lid on the top- it produces a recipe that doesn’t resemble mine at all.  The same recipe can produce a totally different result.

If you want to know difference between a good wife and an average wife, you’ll find the answer is the same.  There are hundreds of recipes for being a good wife.  The ingredient list is usually pretty similar in every recipe; Love, Respect, Communication, Intimacy, Time, Service, Prayer. . . Even if the recipe is followed directly and not one ingredient neglected, the outcome can be totally different.

Take the Good Wife Recipe for example:

If you Love in proportion to what is given you, the recipe will not rise to the fullest flavor meant to be.  Love unconditionally at 100%. Give all with no expectations of a return.  Love with every ounce of your being and when you have given all- squeeze even more out.  Those drops are the best.

Respect is a vital ingredient, one I didn’t fully understand when I got married. I loved my husband, but didn’t respect all of his ideas. I had my own ideas of how things should be.  And naturally, I thought I was right.  After years of this wrong balance the Lord showed me that I wasn’t respecting Dale’s role in our family; his thinking and his leading.  I asked God to help me and He did.  I respect Dale’s thinking.  He is actually right most often—I just had to learn to listen before reacting and respect his thoughts.

Communication is a delicate balance of listening and talking. When we listen not only with your ears but with our heart we are able to remember everything that he shares. We should be his greatest advocate in the good days and the hardest of days.  Allow nothing to hinder this vital ingredient.  He needs to know you care about his every thought, dream, and burden.

Intimacy-  There is much to be said on this topic, for now all I will say is- DO NOT NEGLECT this ingredient! The spicier you make it, the better; the easier the other ingredients gel together into the perfect recipe.

Time and Service- You could be the greatest lover of all wives but if you neglect spending quality time with your husband,  and creating an atmosphere of love– your recipe will fall flat.  What would he love for you to do with him? What ways you can help him? What are his favorite meals?

Prayer-  Many nights I wake up and while he sleeps, I watch him and pray.  I pray for his health, his work, and his dreams to be fulfilled.  The Lord has been faithful to answer.

The Good Wife Recipe is one of sacrifice, but produces the greatest of marriages.  I am in mad love with my husband.  I’ve noticed that the more I put into the recipe, the more I get out of it- and the more passionate my marriage is. The more passionate it becomes the less work it is.  My desire to love becomes greater, ability to respect becomes second nature, communication becomes like-minded, making love sweeter than any romance novel could ever pen, and time with him my desire not duty.

All my days of marriage were not easy. Every man is different and his needs different from another. It was trial and error in the beginning but perseverance and desire for the very best marriage was my passion.

Being a good wife is a lot like being a good cook.  Any given wife using the same recipe and instructions can produce a marriage that is entirely different from another.  Why is this?

It’s because attention to detail delineates a good wife from an average one.

The secret to The Good Wife Recipe; Do not neglect one ingredient.  They are all free, but it will be how deliberate you are with the finer details that will determine the outcome.

Read Proverbs 31:10-31 for in-depth details about the Good Wife.

You should  make him fried apples and pancakes! Top them with some whipped cream, yum!  Here are the recipes. . .




  • Sharon,
    I loved your P31 devotional this morning and really enjoyed your blog post! What great reminders of how we (as wives) are called to love, support, respect, encourage, and care for our husbands.

    I've learned that a great marriage is not something that just happens. It takes a lot of hard work, perseverance, and daily committment. I can tell by the words you shared this morning that you and Dale and truly living the Honeymoon life!

    Love & continued prayers,

    • Aw thank you Leah! You are an amazing woman that I SO admire. I've prayed for your family everyday over Christmas! I love you! Sharon

  • Amy said:

    Sharon, your devotional on the honeymoon life spoke volumes to me. I too "missed out" on my honeymoon because of an illness. For years I resented this and it almost hardened my heart. Reading your stories, I am convicted to remember my own struggle was not unique to me. I am reminded of how my husband and I strive everyday to care for eachother and be closer in a way that many couples neglect stating their honeymoon is over. Thank you for being another important reminder. Bless you.

    • Amy- I'm so happy that this devotion spoke so personally to you. May the Lord bless you and your marriage a hundred fold in the coming New YEAR! Sharon

  • Michelle said:

    You have inspired me and made me anxious at the same time. See, we used to have a honeymoon marriage. Then I developed a disease that leaves me tired and very much in pain most days. We also have two children, one special needs child. We keep saying, in ten years, in eight years, our countdown IS on! Your friend's story jolted me. We need to try. I need to pray for strength and healing more.... For myself and my daughter! Please pray fore me!

    • Oh Michelle I will pray for you! I am sorry that it has been so hard for you. I am a nutritionist and am very interested in helping people get well. Lord, we know that You are the Great Physician. We ask that you heal Michelle from this disease and that she be healthier than she was before it wrecked her. Please help her child progress and grow in strength and wisdom. Thank You Lord! In Jesus' Name Amen!

  • Charlotte Askew said:

    Sharon, I loved this post. There are many women in this world that need to read these simple, yet very important ingredients. I too, have a husband that I am madly in love with. He is almost 75 and I am 68 but our marriage is still spicy and we are together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We go everywhere together, do everything together, and still feel we don't have enough time to be with each other. Love, respect and honor, yes, those are key ingredients. Thank you for sharing.

    • Good words Charlotte! Thank you for sharing! Love, sharon

  • Pam said:

    Your devotion really resonated with me. I didn't have the honeymoon of my dreams either, for lots of reasons. I haven't necessarily spent much time thinking about going on that 2nd honeymoon, but it has crossed my mind a time or two. However, I am inspired by your words of living the honeymoon life. I suppose every wife at some time or another has wondered what she would do if something did happen prematurely to the love of her life. And since we don't know what tomorrow holds, we SHOULD live each day as if it were our last. Especially loving fully the special someone HE placed in my life. In reading your post here and celebrating 23 years of marriage myself, I have also found the points you make are so true. Thank you for sharing and moving me to pursue living the honeymoon life every single day whether that 2nd dream honeymoon ever happens or not!!

    • You're welcome Pam! Wow, good words you shared, thank you!! May the Lord bless you and your marriage one hundred fold in the coming new year!! Sharon

  • Jennie said:

    I came across you blog from P31 and I love this post and my goal this year is to the study Proverbs 31. Do you have any books that you would recomend that would help me in studying Proverbs 31. My desire is to be a better wife and mom and encourage other mom's also.

    • Thank you Jennie! I don't actually know of any books at the moment. Let me research that for you! Blessings! sharon

      • Jennie said:

        Thanks Sharon, I have been doing a little searching but haven't really came across anything for just Proverbs 31, but if anyone has any recommendations I love to hear. :)

  • Amy Carroll said:

    Sharon, I LOVED your devotion this morning. The idea of a honeymoon life has gripped my heart, and I'm going to look for ways to live it out today! Hugs to you!!

    • Thank you Amy!Can't wait to see you in a few weeks! XOXOX

  • Ronnie said:

    Thank you for your devotion this morning. We have been through tough financial time, loss of home,job and hurtful words these past five years. I prayed that the Lord convict me to love and trust him again or release me from my vows. With His help and strength, I am going to follow God's principal. Your P31 devo and this post just confirmed what I felt He wanted me to hear. Please pray for us, we have been married 33 years 12/29. I pray that was the last anniversary we did not celebrate. Blessings and Hugs!

    • You are welcome Ronnie! Wow, I'm so sorry it has been so hard for you in the past 5 years. Lord, God we come to You asking for abundant blessings for Ronnie and her husband. Rekindle their love and passion and help them not only restore what has been lost but have what they never had before. Thank You! In Jesus' Name Amen

  • Kay said:

    What a perfect devotional for January 1st. Thank you for sharing this.

  • Charlene Kidd said:

    Sharon, I loved your devotion. Your heart comes through so clearly. Love and blessings to you.

    • Thank you Charlene! I miss you so much! I love you! Blessings to you and your family!

  • Thank you, Sharon, for your godly advice and heavenly recipe for a successful marriage! A honeymoon isn't a one time event just as a marriage is more than a wedding. Loved your post and P31 devotional. Be blessed as you have encouraged many!

    • Thank you Mary! I love you words, "heavenly recipe for a successful marriage!" Thank you for sharing! Blessings!

  • Veronica said:

    Loved your post! I was blessed to have almost 44 years with my first husband, who did turn out to be a preacher man! We had lots of ups and downs, for we were both young when we married, but we both grew in the Lord and turned out to have a beautiful marriage. It ended when my husband was suddenly called home to be with the Lord in 2008 at the age of 65. Lo and behold, the Lord gave me a little over a year of being alone, during which He showed me in so many ways that He loved me and was always with me. Then, a mutual friend introduced my second husband to me and we have been married for almost 2 1/2 years. We will have fewer years together, but we each have the advantage of having learned a lot in our years of living. I thought the Good Wife Recipe was not only good for the newly marrieds, but for the senior gals like me (I'm 69 and my guy was just 80). Lest any of you younger women think the spice gets stale at our age, let me tell you it does not! Each one of the ingredients is important. I am a woman truly blessed in many ways and will try to follow this recipe for however many years the Lord gives me. One thing I have learned is that, while our times are in the Lord's hands, we are not promised a certain number of years, so, appreciate the past, trust the Lord with your future, but live in the present!

    • WOW WOW WOW!! Love what you said here!!!!! Thank you for taking the time to write this to me and all who will read it. You have wisdom, experience and spiritual knowledge that is invaluable! Oh Thank you Veronica!! Blessings in Jesus Name to you and your husband! Sharon

  • Susan W said:

    I just came across you for the first time with the P31 devotional. Can you repost it here somewhere? I am very envious of your marriage and need to work on many things on my part. Thank you so much for posting!

  • Dot said:


    I want to know what recipe your husband uses (if any) for being a good husband. I too often read about all the sacrifice and endless things a good wife should do but don't hear what a good husband should be doing. It often seems like the relationship is one sided and the wife is the only one doing anything.

    • Good suggestion Dot! I think that will be my next post:). I'll interview Dale for the answers. Problem is most who read my blog are women. I guess they could read it to their husband? Anyway, I'm on it! Thanks Dot! Blessings! Sharon

    • Kelly said:

      Thank you Dot for asking that question. I've been reading the posts looking for that very question. I will look for Sharon's post about being a good husband - if she did one. I am just now finding this post from January 2013.

  • Jeannie said:

    Oh my gosh! I love what you've written on the blog and on the Encouragement for Today devotional! It really touched something deep inside of me! Thank you for encouraging me to be the wife of my husband's dreams!

  • Renee Swope said:

    Sharon!! I loved your devotion and this blog post is sooo good!! Your marriage is such a beautiful reflection of God's precious love for us as His bride. I'll never forget meeting Dale years ago and She Speaks and the way he looked out for you and had such a servant's heart. You guys were like newlyweds and you'd been married 20 years! Thank you for being a beacon of hope to so many and for giving us very practical and beautiful ways to live the honeymoon life no matter where we are in our marriage. Love you!!

    • Aw -Renee this means so much to me! Thank you! And thank you for helping me get these devotions through. It is phenomenal how many people are blessed because of your sacrifice to excellence. Love you!

  • Janet said:

    Hi Sharon, I am getting married in less than 5 months, and this recipe is surely a God send, I vow to stick with it every day. May God continue to bless you and your lovely family!

  • Joy said:

    I smiled as I read the closing suggestion to make my husband pancakes...the funny thing is I DID make Gord pancakes New Years Day...YOUR PANCAKES! Sharon, you are such an inspiration. I know this is so much more than words on a page. You and Dale intentionally apply this recipe to your marriage. When one "ingredient" is running low, you are quick to replenish through prayer and time. You have carefully adjusted the recipe to result in the best taste, one that you savor and enjoy.

    Blessings, love and prayers to you and yours,
    (PS. I have a dear friend heading down from here to attend the She Speaks Intensive...will you be there?)

    • Aw thank you Joy! I'm so happy you're making the pancakes. I am not working the She Speaks Intensive.I love you! Sharon

  • Linda Surles said:

    I just love this post. I'm single and I have a desire for marriage. This was a wonderful reminder of the kind of wife I need to be to my future husband. Thanks, Sharon!


    • Yay! God is preparing you Linda for that day!I'm glad it blessed you! Blessings,

  • Elizabeth said:

    Fabulous post! I love your secret family recipes! Thanks for sharing! Thanks also for linking up with Marriage Monday! :)

    • I love your site Elizabeth! You've got so much wisdom! Love and hugs,

  • Cynthia said:

    I am a single mom (52 yrs. old) with a young son (12). I understand this recipe for marriage but is there one for singles dating? Am I wrong in thinking that I should not necessarily follow this recipe in my relationship? I believe there is a definite distinction between behaviors in dating and marriage and don't think I should be acting like I am married when I am not.

  • Ina gawne said:

    Although I am not religious, (I am very spiritual) I so agree with what you have written here. Although I do want to say: it is a two way street: the man needs to be as aware and as giving as the woman....and also needs to create a safe and loving haven for his wife as well. It can not be one sided, just coming from the wife. Men and women are equal - we must never never forget that!

    • Hi Ina! I absolutely agree! In the upcoming days I plan to write a post on The Recipe for Good Husband. You are so right it is a two way street, most of my audience is women that's why I speak predominantly to them. Oh, and I just visited your site! I LOVE it and the post for today with recipe for the ham looks DELICIOUS!! Thanks for stopping by, it was nice to meet you! Sharon

  • Anna said:

    Loved the Proverb 31 devotional Sharon. I love your blog. I am keeping this recipe!!!! I have been married for 30 years, have 4 children. I love my husband more than ever, we have had "dark valleys" but our Lord has guided us through and blessed us. Since February. I've started spending more time with our Lord, reading, journaling, praying, devotionals from Proverbs 31 ;o), I have not only seen a change in myself, but in my husband also.
    God is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thanks and be blessed

  • Sabrina said:

    My marriage is struggling so bad. We, like many couples, are struggling in every area and it's like we are enemies instead of one unit. We bicker and debate about everything, it's always about who's right and who's decision is best for our family. It's more like we compete against each other than joining forces. It is exhausting. There is also a lot of hurt and anger, on my part, from the past. He spent 9 years very far from God, and id a lot of really awful things. Thankfully he has since given his life to Christ, but now I feel stuck. I am so happy he has changed so much and finally accepted Christ in his life, i am just at a loss. I know I'm to blame. I spent many nights in tears praying for that very thing, yet now that the Lord has answered my prayers, I am the problem and don't know where to go from here. I want to move forward and forgive, I do! However it seems like every step I take forward, it then becomes 2 steps back. I am living in fear that the past and old bad behaviors are going to cone back and just crush me over and over like before. How do I move forward and help heal our relationship? I'm not even sure any of this is making sense, I'm so overwhelmed with emotion. How does one move on and forgive so quickly from really terrible things in the past?? Christ no longer condemns him, so why do I? I want to be a whole, healed, godly wife/mother, I pray for it often. What do I do now?

    • Kelly said:

      I do not have any advise or answers for you. I just wanted you to know that what you said makes perfect sense! (because you were wondering) I get it! I too am in a relationship that feels like we are always competing. I came to Sharon's blog looking for some guidance in what I could do better or different - to change the way I've been thinking - towards him. I want so badly to admire and adore him the way I used to.

      One thing though - YOU are not the problem. Remember: a good strong healthy relationship does take two involved people that are willing to 'see' what needs work. It can't be just one side giving that extravagant love!
      I'm looking forward to reading Sharon's blog about being the Good Husband. I will be passing it on to him!