I stared at my computer without an ounce of enthusiasm or creativity. A mountain of work beckoned me… With already missed deadlines, bills to be paid, taxes to be done, text messages waiting for answers, dishes in the sink… Then a phone call halted all of it and paralyzed my ability to do anything productive.
I prayed, but it didn’t help.
I couldn’t focus. The whole time I prayed, I was thinking too much. You know what I mean? So, I got my Bible out and read. It didn’t work either. The phone kept pinging with new messages. I couldn’t get my brain on a different track no matter what I did!
So, I ate a piece of chocolate. And, no–it didn’t help. But it was good.
I went back to the computer and within seconds, I found myself looking at Facebook posts! Let me tell you- that never gets you anywhere!
I jumped up out of my seat, turned my computer and phone off, and said “Lord, Help me. I’m overwhelmed and I can’t seem to get over my own thoughts. Lead me with Yours.”
I went outside alone, without the world (a.k.a. phone).
I walked. I just needed to decompress. I didn’t think about urgent deadlines, people waiting for me, the phone-call, Facebook… I walked vigorously through the field. I saw our wood pile and decided to restock our porch for the woodstove. I hooked the trailer onto the back of the tractor, filled it up, and stacked the wood next to our front door.
I got down from the tractor and started talking to God again. This time it was different… Without thinking of what I would I say- I started thanking Him. His love overcame me and it was gone. You know– the load I was carrying. I told Him everything that made me feel anxious. I gave it all over to Him, everything. He refreshed me and ignited my heart. By the time I got back to my desk, everything was back in its proper perspective.
Everything was going to be okay, even if by human standards it didn’t look like it… It was. This time I opened my Bible and it was alive. I came to “Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass” Psalm 37:3-5.
It is nearly impossible to feed on His faithfulness, delight in Him, and trust Him to bring it all to pass when all of our minutes are filled. Our time is filled with to-do lists, social media, texts pinging. You name it. I can’t imagine what it would be like if television took a portion of my day.
When I turned the world off and went into His presence-present, I entered the very sanctuary of God. And when I did, passion and creativity ignited in my spirit again and the load of this world disappeared. Oh, to be in His presence is addicting! My entire thought process was supercharged with the assurance of, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” And, I did.