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The Pink Couch–Disciplining Your Children

  We’ve raised five amazing daughters in the past 30 years. They’re a huge spiritual blessing, I can’t even tell you how much! The hardest part of raising kids is often the discipline part.   Most of our discipline took place on The Pink Couch in the living room. I want you to meet our  five daughters (on the pink couch!)as they talk about being disciplined when they were growing up.

If you’re visiting me from Crosswalk or Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion Parenting can be Exhausting, welcome! I’m glad you stopped by! If you haven’t read it, click the link!

What is or has been your greatest struggle in raising children?  Leave a comment to enter your name in the drawing to win my favorite book on parenting, marriage and homemaking– Home-Making by J.R. Miller-originally published in 1882. The tagline–What the Bible Says About Roles and Relationships In A Harmonious Christian Household. You’ll love this book! I’ll draw the winners name Friday at noon. Check back to see if you’ve won or subscribe to my blog!

Click here to read post-High Calling of Motherhood.

homemaking JR

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happeningit’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Hebrews 12:11 (NLT

Comments

  1. My greatest struggle is has been keeping my cool in disciplining. I get so frustrated with some of their repeat offenses that I am not always calm and loving in my discipline. This year has been a great test of that with three small boys and living in a new place with lots of stress. Our Father has brought me through though with great insight into my own repeat offenses. Now he has brought another mom into my life who hopefully I can model some of what he has taught me.

    Thank you for having your daughters share candidly from their heart. It was such a blessing to hear.

    • I’m so happy the video blessed you “Mama of boys!” They’ll be pleased that it was worth it. I think every mom struggles with keeping her cool in disciplining! It’s hard for sure. I’ll pray for you! love and hugs!

  2. Karen G. says:

    Oh how I wish oh how I tried. To be consistent in discipline I know is so important. As a widow with 2 young children God brought a godly man/father into our world. All things considered and the 2 year struggle my young husband had with cancer, the children and I were doing pretty well. I had to be consistent and as tired as I was, I loved my two darlings even through the spankings, they were my husband’s legacy and true love. I remarried and we became a blended family, my world changed for what I thought was the good but 2 rebellious children entered our world and my husband had no consistency, his kids were older and their behaviors quite set. They too lost their mother to cancer. Discipline around our home has become a total disaster, two sets of rules, empty threats, no consistency and if I try to step in I am accused of not being a godly wife who is submitting to her husbands authority. Our life is a mess and I grieve on a whole different level for my children. God Bless you, what a wonderful job you have done with 5 beautiful daughters, thank you. I am praying that at least for my 9 and 10 year old I can salvage some of what I set out to give them, seeking God’s divine help.

    Blessings,
    Karen g

    • Karen, that’s a hard one but not too hard for God. He is in the miracle working business and He can and will do great things in your children’s lives. Just keep on pressing in to the Word for hope and answers. He is always faithful to give us what we need daily for the hard assignments. May the Lord bless you! Keep in touch. Subscribe to my blog!

  3. Jeanie Kelley says:

    I loved this today. It spoke to me in volumes. My biggest struggle is 1 getting Daniel to listen and do what he is supposed to do. He listens well to his dad and the teachers at school, but he will not listen to me and I feel like he walks all over me all the time. I also have issues with discipline and carrying it through. Warren and I talk of discipline of Daniel and how we should do it, but it comes out that either one of us is the bad guy. Daniel has discovered if he yells, then he will get attention and that does not work around here. I think he is going to be an exploder just like me. I have learned though that that does not work at all. Enjoyed the post this morning. Thanks for sharing.

    • You’re welcome Jeanie!

      Oh my, your little Daniel sounds like a piece of work for sure! Just keep in the Word and on your knees for him. You’ll need lots of supernatural leading that only Jesus can give as you already know! May He bless you!! Hugs

  4. Donna says:

    My biggest struggle in parenting has always been time. I am working two stressful jobs right now to help our family since my husband had a heart attack. I have a lot of demands and my parenting seems to be put on the back burner for lack of energy, time, and a load of other things such as elderly parents who need me too. Before this season in our life, we had nine children in the house and time was an issue then as well because I was pulled many different directions and had to work a full time job too. I’m stressed and exhausted often. I do not want these two youngest children to suffer the consequences of that.

    • Oh my Donna!!! Heart attack, elderly parents, 9 children, working. . .I’m exhausted writing it. God you know Donna’s limitations and her ability,HELP HER LORD! Give her peace in the middle of it all. Help her to raise these last two, well! Protect her and give her strength in Jesus’ name, amen!

      I wish I could come over and clean your house, make dinner for you and give you a hug! Blessings!

  5. Annette Wilder says:

    This was wonderful! I see my need to be consistent with my girls and to not lower my standard. I was convicted on how I forget to.follow through to completion on a punishment and how important it is for me to stay sharp and alert!

  6. Susan says:

    I loved this! I can be inconsistent with discipline of my daughter but I am thankful that I still have a lot of chances as she is only two. The most challenging part is balancing it all with getting rest. Thanks for this post!

    • Thank you Susan! Raising daughters is great! You’ve got a lot to look forward to!
      I’m reaping mountains of blessings right now and you will too! love sharon

  7. I have two boys, the oldest is three and the youngest is 22 months. And I am currently pregnant with our third. So, my time in mommy hood is relatively short. But to date, I believe my greatest struggle in raising children to love the Lord is knowing HOW to discipline. Especially one in particular. My beautiful eldest son has a pretty substantial language delay and day by day he inches closer to four years old. My husband and I have struggled not knowing how much he can understand, what we are requiring of him, or even simply saying to him. We’ve struggled with how the discipline should be commenced because it is our heart’s desire that he understand the sin before experiencing the punishment. And my heart fears on occasions that we have missed opportunities to correct him as we sit in our uncertainty of what he is comprehending. But my Lord – my God- I can give this to him. We can give this to Him. Seek His guidance. Seek His help to help us know how to discipline this precious little man the Lord has blessed our home with.

    • Tiffany, I love your heart! God indeed will give you the discernment you need to raise this little boy into a mighty man for Him. Be strong and of good courage’ do not be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you! Joshua 1:9 Love, Sharon

  8. Naomi says:

    My biggest struggle with parenting is wondering if I am “doing it right”. With 5 children 5 and under it’s easy to get frustrated… And I feel like I’m a constant referee; trying to figure out who is the culprit. And then trying to figure out the best discipline for each child or offense. Sometimes I feel like they will never learn, and then there is a wonderful moment of sweetness that makes it all worthwhile.

    • Oh my Naomi, that’s hard work!One day when they’re all grown you’ll still say you don’t know how you did it!! Almost every morning that I wake up I think about those hard years, when everyday was continuous labor. It truly will get better, I promise. Stay strong in Him and you’ll be successful to the end! I’ll pray for you when I wake up in the mornings. Love and hugs!

    • Mama of Boys says:

      Wow! Yes you have your hands full! One tactic I often use when we have groups of kids at our house is group punishments. Often it is too hard to figure out the truth of who did what to who and not possible….. at least at first. I put them all in time out for 5 minutes. At the end I ask each of them individually what happened (if possible) and facilitate apologies. My thinking is that they need to learn as a community to help each other make good decisions. Also that when they do something wrong it effects more than just them. Then each time it happens I add a minute. I never had to do it more than 3x in one night. By then the older kids were sick of time out and helped keep the younger ones in line. We typically had the same group of kids coming to our house once a week for about a year so they caught on to the routine pretty quick.

      • Naomi says:

        Thanks for the idea! I wish it was easy to figure out “the culprit” but I think a lot of times it was the group dynamics that led to the final act of indiscretion. I have a 5 yo boy, triplet 3 yo girls, and a 6 month baby boy.

        • Wow Naomi you’ve got your hands full! WOW! Lord give Naomi everything she needs to be a great parent! In Jesus’ name,! amen! Hugs

  9. Thank you for these encouraging words! I loved seeing your grown daughters reflect positively on what surely was not fun at the time.

  10. Tiffiny Sanders says:

    I am 32 and a mother of three boys and one princess. My husband and I were highschool sweethearts and just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary on April 23rd. Our oldest is 13 and our youngest is 6. We bought 20 acres a year ago in hopes of simplifying our lives. I was drawn to your blog not only because of your inspiring example as a Godly wife and mother, but also by our kindred desire to glean from the earth and experience creation, food, family and life as I believe God intended. Thank you for this video. The sharp blade of conviction cut quickly as I watched and I intend to take what pricked my heart and become a doer and not just a hearer. I will continue to follow closely. Bless you!

    • Tiffiny- We have a lot in common! I’m thrilled that the Lord brought you to my blog and that God has used it today to give you strength! Yes, let’s stay connected! Blessings!!

  11. Finding what works.
    Brandi

    • Brandi, Each child is SO different. I think all five of our daughters needed a different way of discipline each. That’s why constant praying is the first priority! Only God knows how each child will be best led. May He give you His wisdom and discernment! Hugs!

  12. AlyssaD says:

    I agree consistency is hard! But dealing with issues as they arise is so important!

  13. Susan S says:

    I felt Divine pulling on my heart this morning when my inbox included the Proverbs 31 devotational on “Parenting can be Exhausting”, which then led me to your pink couch video. Oh so timely. My husband and I have been struggling for a while now with how to best guide our 9 yr old son on several levels. His heart is in the right place I know, but he so often makes poor choices based on impulse and peers. And yes it is exhausting! Thank you and your daughters for your inspirational words and reminders for me to take the time to slow down, with love, to discipline. How easy it is to forgot in the busyness of the world that the harvest is worth the effort!

    • I’m thrilled that my devotion and the video blessed you Susan! may the Lord continue to bless you and your family in great and mighty ways! Love Sharon

  14. Ashley says:

    Thank you so much for writing this. It is exactly where I’m needing encouragement. With two boys 8 and 7 I struggle with pointing them in Gods direction when I myself try to do it on my own. It is easy to fill my schedule to the max and not take the time necessary to work through the heart of the issue. Having a disfunctional childhood myself I struggle with confidence in parenting.

    • You’re welcome Ashley! Don’t ever lose your confidence– God will give you wisdom and ability, just lean into Him BIG TIME! May He bless you abundantly!

  15. Tiffany says:

    Thank you for sharing this. Being consistent has always been hard for me. I have had many physical issues in the last five years and I know that a lot of time passed with parenting consistenly did not occur. Thank you for the reminder of staying in the Word. I was not raised in a Godly home and have no example of that. I feel I am learning all of this brand new with scripture. Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragment.

    • You’re welcome Tiffany! May the Lord increase wisdom, discernment and ability in your parenting!! He will! Blessings to you and your sweet family!

  16. Julie Kaneshiro says:

    Thank you for sharing that parenting is exhausting. We sometimes forget that we are not alone. It is great to hear that there are others in our situations and that others feel the same frustration. As a mother of 5, from two marriages, we deal with blended family issues, as well as the traditional sibling conflicts. Our 6 year old daughter is very strong willed and believes she rules the roost. We struggle daily with her desire to control us. I will bookmark your site and look forward to your encouragement on parenting.

    • Hi Julie! You’ve got your hands full! Having that many children without being blended would be full enough, but blended does add more heat to the mix. Lord, bless Julie with confidence and strength to rise above the every day struggles. Bless her with an abundance of supernatural wisdom! Thank You Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen
      I look forward to talking to you again in the future!

  17. Cherie Johnson says:

    The greatest struggle is emulating our loving Father in the midst of the chaos of life. I was a single mom for the first six years of my son’s life; I attended college while working three jobs, paid all my own bills, and still had to have the spiritual endurance to play the role of mommy and daddy. Needless to say I was exhausted, and a tired spirit is tempted to tired discipline (or no discipline, or too much discipline!). My beautiful son has always been so resilient and forgiving in his child way, and I learned to lean on the Lord more and more. He gave me the wisdom to be consistent, the Love to withstand all trials, and His eyes to see purpose in the middle of the storm.
    Now that I am married and my son has a wonderful stepdad (and my son’s dad is now lovingly in his life, too!), I am looking back at the “stormy” days with so much gratitude for God’s help. I will continue to ask His guidance as the discipline issues change with my son’s age, and I know He will carry me through it all, just as faithfully and lovingly as He always has.
    God bless all you wonderful parents out there. Our calling is Divine, and we have the help of our Maker. Hallelujah! 🙂

    • Amen! What an amazing testimony! you’re quite the Momma! It is apparent that the Lord is blessing you and you have been faithful! May He continue to do a mighty work in you and your family. Love and hugs, Sharon

  18. Brittany Borgos says:

    My biggest struggle in discipling my 1 1/2 yr old son is when he does the same thing over and over again. It is exhausting. At what point do I stop/switch disciplines? Example: he climbs on top of the computer desk to play with the computer. Now he will do it 10 times a day and will get spanked everytime. This is everyday for the past couple of months. I don’t know what to do. He is very head strong. I need guidence.

    • Hi Brittany! Our first child was really strong willed and I read James’ Dobson’s book, The Strong Willed Child. It helped me along with a LOT OF PRAYER! Lord give Brittany wisdom for raising this amazing son! In Jesus’ name, amen!

  19. Emily S says:

    I would say my greatest struggle is holding my temper when try to discipline in the middle of an ongoing “battle” between my older children.

    • Oh Emily I know exactly what you’re talking about! It is hard! It’ll send you to your knees in prayer quicker than anything! May God give you His peace and endurance in middle of the hardest times! love and hugs!

  20. Sharon!! I love gleaning wisdom from you as a mom, wife, woman and child of God. I LOVE your devotion and I love this video with you and with your girls!! I have got to make a trip to the farm this year. It’s on my bucket list!!

    LOVE YOU!!
    Renee

    • Thank you Renee!!!! I would LOVE for you to make a trip here!! You could bring your family. Aster and the boys would love to milk a goat and gather eggs I’m sure!

      We’re 1 hour from DC, 1 hour from the Blue Ridge Mountains and 1 1/2 hours from the beach. Take your pick of vacations and put us on the agenda for farm, food and friends! It would be so much fun!!

      I love you!!!!!!!!!
      Sharon

  21. Thank you so much for this today! It is so encouraging!
    Sometimes I wish that she had this complete outward energetic on fire, passion, verbal love for God like she does for other things on social media.
    But then she tells me that she wants to fast, has changed her choice in friends in the past year-in a good way, she makes good choices and everyone thinks we are so close (which is good). And so many times I second guess myself if I’m doing it all right. How she’s going to turn out. Her spiritual life is what matters most!
    I love her with all my heart and just desire the best for her and of course to not fall into the pitfalls that I did. We are reading Get Lost (By Dannah Gresh) little by little. Praying that God will speak to her thru this wonderful book! God has such wonderful plans for our girls.

    • You’re a good mom Becky! She is going to be a mighty warrior for the Lord, I just know it! Lord, give Becky what she needs to be the mom her daughter needs right now. Give her your confidence and assurance. Protect her daughter from harms way and lead her in the paths of righteousness for Your name sake! In Jesus’ name, amen
      Blessings and hugs,
      Sharon

  22. Shelley says:

    My greatest struggle is focusing on the negative in their behavior and my own.

    • That’s a hard one Shelley! I’ll pray for you! Lord help Shelly to stay focused on the positive and reign negative thoughts into balance. Keep her eyes on You and not on circumstances! Bless her Lord for her faithfulness! In Jesus’ name, amen

  23. Karen V. says:

    Wow!!! Did I need that today. I’m a mom of…yes, five girls, ages 8 – 14. Bickering and arguing as we’re getting out the door this morning and I’m sooo tired. Parenting and discipline is exhausting. But I want to raise Godly young women and I recognize the need for consistency and discipline. Proverbs 31 Ministries surely has God’s timing. This encouragement is just what I needed today. Thanks, Sharon, and your lovely ladies for sharing!

    • How amazing is that?! 5 daughters!! Keep in touch for sure! i know you’re doing an amazing job. Be diligent and consistent, it truly we get better in the years to come!! May the Lord pour our abundant blessings on you and your family! Love and hugs!

  24. Sharon, this video brought tears to my eyes. It was a joy to listen to you and your daughters! I too am a Mother of 5 – 3 boys and 2 girls from 1 to 10…the couch is often our meeting place as well! I noticed many of your girls share stories similar to ones my children are living…thank you for sharing! Your one daughter’s words about you not worrying about her feelings hit me…I think at times I worry about that, so I’m grateful to hear I don’t need to.

    I think my biggest struggle is the need for discipline seems to never stop…that thought reminds me that I need to do like you did with the lie – take care of it when it happens! Praying He will help me be consistent!!

    The other thought I’ve had as I think about this – from my experience God often disciplines me as I’m disciplining my children. He often reminds me to listen to the words I share with them, so love the way He works!

    Thank you again for sharing this today…God knew what I needed – off to go train my little people!

    • Veronica says:

      Your post sent me back in time to when I was raising my own three, who are now adults(youngest is 35). We have an enemy who tries so hard to divide Christian families and therefore conquer and he is lord of this world, so we will have to stand strong against what the world tells us. I too worried too much about hurting my children’s feelings and also about making them different from many of their friends. As they have become adults, though, they have told me more than once that our love for them and our concern for bringing them up to be responsible adults is what they remember more than the times they wailed that “everyone else was able to do it” or “everyone else was treated better.” Be encouraged and hang tough! The Lord is with you.

    • Jill, I am thrilled that it blessed you!! The age span of your children is similar to ours. You’ve got a big job! May the Lord bless you abundantly in your parenting and in your marriage! To God be the glory! Love and hugs!

      • I was just thinking about your words as I reflected on Mother’s Day…especially how motherhood leaves me overwhelmed. http://titus24u.blogspot.com/2013/05/mothers-dayit-makes-me-think.html I came back to thank you for sharing your story with all of us who are following in your steps and encouraging us to trust God, depend on Him and walk in faith. Then I was surprised to find your message below, what a great surprise and I’m sure a needed read for me!
        Blessings to you,
        Jill Beran
        11667 Jade Ave
        Lime Springs, IA 52155

        • Hi Jill!

          I’ll send that out next week. I’m crazy busy getting ready for our daughter’s wedding–it’s this weekend!
          Love and hugs,

          Sharon

    • Jill you won the drawing for the Home Making book! Send me your address!!

  25. Dorothy says:

    Our second son was very strong-willed and I always wanted to be more compassionate then consistent, made for some very long days and nights of crying. I just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t listen to me cause I was his mom. My prayers go out to all the moms who are dealing with strong willed children. You need patience and consistency.

  26. Debbie Smith says:

    The most difficult struggle I was confronted with when raising my kids was the fact that my husband, Don, and I married and brought children into our marriage. We were both brand new Christians when we married; the patterns of this world were still wrapped about our thoughts and God slowly removed them and transformed me over time (and I still have not arrived after all these years and now with grandkids!) Raising a blended family brings struggles that can lead to guilt, feelings of failure, with a twisted challenge of not wanting to show favor, yet not wanting to over-discipline….with an occasional mix of a stubborn, angry child that brings even more difficulty. Most likely even those who have raised kids that are from their own marriage/with no stepchildren still have issues of struggling with this same thing. It is true that with God all things are possible…yet it sure doesn’t mean that it is easy. I have chuckled and said to my now grown kids…”thank you so much…I know God much better than I would have if you had not been in my life.”

    • Good testimony Debbie and your kids turned out AMAZING!!! You could be a speaker on the topic of blended families! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. Veronica says:

    I am in awe that, imperfect wife and mother as I was, my Lord took such good care of my three children. I believe the hardest challenge I had was not trusting the Lord enough. We are not yet in Heaven and life here can be difficult, more difficult than our finite minds and abilities can conquer. With my two sons, I relied more than I should have on myself and my husband, without trusting the Lord to take care of my children. I worried more than I should have and consequently enjoyed motherhood less than I could have. When my daughter and third child was born, I had grown to the point where I KNEW I was unable to do it, even with the help of my godly husband. We were sinners- saved by grace to be sure – but sinners still. I relied so much more on the Lord with her and, while all three turned out to be upright adults who seek the Lord, it seemed easier bringing up my daughter. More experience may have helped but outside circumstances were not easy in those years, so I know that my trust in the Lord was the main difference.

    • Good testimony Veronica!!! It backs up the verse “Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths!” Amen

  28. Nichole Jones says:

    love the email this am and the video… I have two toddlers now and your words today are certainly encouraging. Taking the time is this busy period is something I fail to do. I hope to read through some comments soon as well but for now, thank you and so glad I found your blog!

  29. Wendy says:

    What a wonderful, while convicting, post Sharon. I thoroughly enjoyed it and am making a commitment to be more consistent with disciplining my young sons…and clearly setting my expectations of them. Thanks again.

  30. Nancy says:

    I love reading your blogs since I can now “hear” you from your talk with us at St. John’s in Portsmouth. I can remember sitting on the couch after working all day with children, when my own were much younger thinking I know I am tired but I must get up and get the situation under control or their lives will not go smoothly later. Boy am I glad I did as I have two wonderful young men who continue to seek their relationship with God. Thank-you for sharing and good luck with all your upcoming projects!

  31. Susan K says:

    My hardest struggle is the balance between strictness and letting my daughter develop her own identity. While growing up, my parents were strict and I realize now that I hardly thought for myself. I don’t want to do that for my daughter.

    • It’s a delicate balance of breaking the strong will and not the spirit. It indeed takes a lot of prayer and dependence on Jesus. Lord, give Susan everything she needs to make decisions that will affect her daughter for the good. Give her Your love and Your gentleness when she leads her in the paths of righteousness! In Jesus’ name, amen! Blessings!

  32. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for your reminder that often times just sitting with your child patiently and allowing him or her to find their way can be more powerful. With our first child we weren’t as crunched for time and the excitement of parenting helped us make good choices…we read a lot in preparation. By the second time we felt it would be easier since we had success with the first. We didn’t take into account how very different our children’s personalities were or the fact that our lives had changed so much (I had to return to work). Eight years later we had another child and first we studied like mad since we felt we were starting over but we acknowledged we made many mistakes with our second and he kind of got lost in the shuffle. Now we are trying to help him feel more secure and break bad habits that were created from our punishing rather than disciplining. There is a lot of guilt that goes with this but I pray we will have time to build that trust and respect. I struggle with the guilt of finding it so much easier with our youngest because of our mistakes in parenting. Those old tapes kick in from my childhood, the ones that I promised myself to rewrite when I decided to have children. I know I can only parent through HIS love and support. Thanks again for sharing.

  33. Well, I am still smiling! LOVED hearing your sweet voice again….oh how I wish we lived closer. Then, what a treat to “meet” each one of your girls!!!! A gift for sure!

    I remember one time when my sister and I were about 5 years old, our mom was sick and my sister and I thought it would be lovely to take her a bouquet of flowers. We went outside and picked the top blooms off of all of our dad’s prize tulips. We brought them in and put them in a large bowl and presented them to mom. Mom didn’t say anything, but when dad arrived home from work, he was saddened to see all his beautiful tulips without their blooms…just green stems and leaves. He called my sister and I and asked: “Who picked all my tulips?” We pointed to one another, both denying personal involvement. Dad gently questioned us again, and eventually we admitted our “crime”. After a time of talking to us and getting us to understand the harm of lying – a greater harm than the act we had committed, dad said, “OK, get your sweaters on – we’re going out for ice-cream!” My sister and I were confused and we asked, “Dad, why are you taking us out for ice-cream? You’re taking us out because we picked your tulips?” He responded, “No, I’m taking you out because you’ve promised never to lie to me again.” Lesson learned and never forgotten.

    I know I have made errors in raising Chris, but the Lord has kindly guided my husband and I in training him. He will be 21 soon, and one thing I constantly pray for him is a prayer I heard you share for your girls. I pray the Lord will make him strong…strong in his faith and walk with the Lord, resolved to obey His Word and live with integrity.

    Thanks for sharing this post Sharon.
    You are loved and often in my prayers,
    Hugs,
    Joy

  34. April says:

    I read your devotion about the pink couch and it was an absolute blessing.This is currently a great struggle for me. I’m a single mother of two beautiful headstrong girls and we’ve been through so many obstacles in the last year including a job layoff, being blessed with a new job, financial burdens, a car breaking down and trying to buy a new one with bad credit due to a recent divorce. I know God was and is there through all of these changes but somewhere in all of these trials my kids felt like they had to test the boundaries to make sure they were still there. Now the main struggle we face is me being one burnt out mama….unfortunately by the time I get home I have nothing left to give to them and it shows daily in our family.

  35. Hailey says:

    I struggle most with guilt. I’m a first-born perfectionist myself so I try REALLY hard not to pass on those tendencies to our oldest, but it’s hard to know (with her being our first) what’s really age-appropriate to expect from her. We have 3 little girls, the oldest is 4 and the youngest is 10 mo. I feel like sometimes with the younger two we have more of a “they’re just babies” mentality, while we expect a lot more from the oldest (though of course I’m trying NOT to do that, hence the constant yo-yo guilt complex 😉 ).

  36. The hardest part seems to change often, sometimes daily. Right now my almost four year old son has started doing mean things to my 11 month old son. He’ll try to roll on him, push him, and sometimes even headbutt him. It has been so hard to keep my cool but I think a lot of it is that its just so hard to understand why he does it. That may be the hardest part for me I guess.

  37. Thanks for the words of wisdom and encouragement, as it is such a hard job!! I loved your video too. We have a pink couch also….it may have a new purpose :-).

  38. Linda says:

    I feel so encouraged as a first time mom to our 9 month old son. Thank you. ttfn L.

  39. Samantha says:

    I am so glad to have found you and your words of encouragement. I struggle with so many things in parenting, so it’s hard to pick just one. But I’d have to say that exhaustion plays a huge roll in my lack of consistency in parenting. I also feel so spread thin with these 3 blessings (& 1 on the way!!) that God has given me, that I just sometimes complain about my struggles, rather than asking for God’s help. Why is that? Also, my time with my husband gets put on the back burner, as we are always beckoned to put out a fight, kiss a boo boo, or change a diaper. And I love my time with my husband, so that’s a REAL hard one for me. And we don’t have very much help, so date nights are rare. I need to just do as you did– stay on my knees in prayer to the greatest Parent, Counselor there is! Thank you again for letting me know I’m not alone and that by consistent discipline, although hard, will reap great rewards.
    Sincerely,
    Samantha R.

  40. I am so glad to have found you and your words of encouragement. I struggle with so many things in parenting, so it’s hard to pick just one. But I’d have to say that exhaustion plays a huge roll in my lack of consistency in parenting. I also feel so spread thin with these 3 blessings (& 1 on the way!!) that God has given me, that I just sometimes complain about my struggles, rather than asking for God’s help. Why is that? Also, my time with my husband gets put on the back burner, as we are always beckoned to put out a fight, kiss a boo boo, or change a diaper. And I love my time with my husband, so that’s a REAL hard one for me. And we don’t have very much help, so date nights are rare. I need to just do as you did– stay on my knees in prayer to the greatest Parent, Counselor there is! Thank you again for letting me know I’m not alone and that by consistent discipline, although hard, will reap great rewards.

  41. Kristie says:

    I needed this today. Parenting is hard and i do struggle with discipline. For the last year we have gone thru a very rough time but it has brought my husband and I closer and we have become better parents. when discipline needs to happen it does hurt but i know it needs to be done. I hate to watch it and do it. I have a long way to go but i am getting better thru prayer and faith. I pray someday i can share my journey and help others. I enjoy you and the encouragement each day to help my walk

  42. Sheri Aurand says:

    Sweet Sharon, oh how I remember those days of raising our girls!! I just found you on Facebook and came here. What a surprise to remeet you and your daughters. I’m not surprised to find that you have a ministry to women. Love to you, Sheri

    • Hi Sheri!

      It is so good to hear from you!!! I’ve wondered how you are many times. I love you!!! I’ll talk more later. XOXOX Sharon

  43. Felicia says:

    I am a mother of 4 daughters ages 12 -4 with one son who is 19 months. I am expecting another little girl this Aug, I am 6 months pregnant. My husband is in training in PA. for a new job. Can I say Mrs. Sharon your blog from Proverbs 31 was literally sent to me from God!! How loving my father is to care about my concerns. My son wakes up every night at the same time screaming and crying because he wants to get in my bed on top of that earlier today my 4 year old had a terrible tantrum in the library because she wanted a piece of candy that another girl had. My other 3 daughters just looked at me helpless because they knew that I was really embarrassed even though I know I have a choice to be embarrass I felt so humiliated . I could read the looks on some of the people faces like she already has five and another one. Yesterday, was very challenging for me but I always remember God has given me the grace to care and to love our children. I look at how beautiful your daughters are and serving The Lord . You cannot ask for anything more. I just decided to check my email at 2:30am this morning and God is always speaking . I am so grateful to you and your family. I know that if God can do it for you he can do it for me!!! I just have to continue to put him first .
    Love,
    Felicia ????

  44. The hardest struggle for me in parenting is balancing my time with God, my home life, and my career. I love growing in all 3 of those areas & I absolutely love being a kindergarten teacher, but when I come home from my full time job I am drained. I often feel like I have nothing left to give to my God nor to my family. I became a mama a little over 4 years ago when my husband and I found out we were pregnant. When our daughter was first born, I had 3 months home with her before returning to work. I was ready to return to my friends at school and my kindergarten students. As the years go on and our daughter gets old, it’s been harder for me to be away from her. I feel like I miss out on a lot of changes in her & I feel like I miss out on opportunities to show her God all around us. I’m sure there are so many of us mama’s who have similar struggles. I love being a mama…it’s the greatest gift!!

  45. Luanda says:

    I’m a mom of four boys. My oldest is 24, and I homeschool the other three (10, 11, 16). My 16 year old has always been strong willed, and my 10 year old is catching up to him. My greatest struggle with disciplining and raising up our boys is keeping calm, not losing my cool, my patience; better yet, walking around feeling defeated (that’s what Satan wants). Sharon’s recent article is a blessing to me. I watched her video on strong-willed children, and I just wanted to cry. I’ve never really thought about raising strong-willed children as a high calling from God, but the more I thought about it, I realize that God will not give us more than we can handle. So I will continue to pray for my strong-willed boys, without ceasing, I will be engaged in their lives, and I will bless them with words, words of encouragement, words of affirmation. Thank you so much Sharon for sharing with us what the Lord has placed on your heart. Blessings to you and your family.

  46. Sue Nabb says:

    Raising children correctly is such a hard job but so rewarding. The most important things to remember is that they need dicipline and boundries. The other most important thing is that they need to be on a schedule, certain times for baths, homework, bedtimes, etc.
    They must know that you are the parent and they are the child and except for certain circumstances your word is final. Let them know there are times when you will change your mind and be flexable but those times are at your discretion, not theirs. Last of all, PRAY. SN

  47. Kathy Morris says:

    I would like to ask prayer for my little baby girl, Jenny! Jenny is my youngest daughter!
    A little over a year ago, Jenny, age 31…suffered a massive heart attack. We almost lost her. It has changed my entire life and the little things that I take for granted…for now, I love to sit quietly in the same room with her and just breathe the same air that she breathes.
    My Jenny Ruth, has always been my little, “health nut”…she is an avid bicyclist, great overall physical shape. I suppose, this is one reason my husband and I were in shock whenever we received word to come the hospital immediately. Jenny was in intensive care with a coronary artery blowout. After many test, also, genetic testing from Duke…we have recently discovered that Jenny has two life threatening diseases. In reading about these conditions, we are told that her life will probably be shortened. BUT, I know whom I have believed in…He is able to hold my daughter together and give her a blessed, long life. I covet your prayers…I know my Heavenly Father answers prayer. Yet, no matter what, I will trust in Him!
    I listen to you and your daughters share life! How blessed we are. Our children, no matter how old they are…they are a treasure to our lives and will always be our babies. Thank your for sharing! You have beautiful girls…

  48. Sue Nabb says:

    Raising children correctly is such a hard job but so rewarding. The most important things to remember is that they need dicipline and boundries. The other most important thing is that they need to be on a schedule, certain times for baths, homework, bedtimes, etc.
    They must know that you are the parent and they are the child and except for certain circumstances your word is final. Let them know there are times when you will change your mind and be flexable but those times are at your discretion, not theirs. above all, PRAY. SN

  49. Cristy Magsino says:

    Thank you so much for all the sharing that I have learned from you. It always a blessings every time I got emails from you for your new topics. Keep on sharing to us your godly wisdom and lessons from the word of God. God bless you and your family.

  50. Theresa says:

    Sharon, your devotional came at the perfect time for me. Thursday night we my son, who is 13 and has ADHD and defiance issues, really pushed his limits and was incredibly defiant. Your devotional on Proverbs 31 and the videos on your blog yesterday really gave me hope and concrete ideas. We also have 3 other children, and each of our kids are so different! They require different handling and discipline, it can be exhausting. Your encouragement was so timely and definitely it was God’s timing to have your devotional on Proverbs 31 right when I needed it most. Please pray for my husband and I as we try to raise our four children to be Godly men and women, and especially pray for us in the challenges we face with our son, for wisdom and encouragement. Thank you and God bless you.

  51. Anonymous says:

    So, Like, I guess the thing I struggle with is the standard of perfection, and what that is. What makes the child turn out right, and what is right. How do you teach them what is right, when you can’t teach from the Bible. I would like to just read them about Moses, maybe but I can’t. I would like to be able to talk to them about poetry, and words, and what poems can I use, many nursery rhymes aren’t really about much.

    Anyway.

  52. Hmmm.... says:

    So, Like, I guess the thing I struggle with is the standard of perfection, and what that is. What makes the child turn out right, and what is right. How do you teach them what is right, when you can’t teach from the Bible. I would like to just read them about Moses, maybe but I can’t. I would like to be able to talk to them about poetry, and words, and what poems can I use, many nursery rhymes aren’t really about much.

    Anyway.

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